Chapter 11: A Meeting of Life with Death
When living with somebody you can still be as alone as you were in your loneliness. You remain an integrated soul. While not doing anything you feel happy, at ease. This at-easeness should become a quality of you, not of inactivity.
Carry this quality in activity and there will be no problem. In the beginning there is going to be difficulty, but the point to remember is that your happiness, your bliss, your ecstasy, should not be dependent on any outer condition. If it is, then there is contradiction because as you live now, it is always dependent.
Some people feel that they are happy when they are with their friends; then when they are alone they are bored, miserable - somebody is needed. These people are extroverts, one type.
The other type is the introvert. Whenever he is alone he feels happy; whenever he moves with someone, unhappiness enters. Both are in the bondage of their type. Type is a bondage - you should be free of the type. You should neither be extrovert, nor introvert, but both. Then you are free of the type.
So what is to be done? Never get fixed with a situation; always move to the opposite and carry the quality with you. Move as much as possible from one opposite to the other and carry the quality. Soon you will become aware that the quality can be carried anywhere. Then you cannot be sent to hell, because even if you are sent you will carry your happiness there. Then you will never be afraid.
Religious people are afraid of hell; and they seek and hanker after heaven. These people are not religious at all, because heaven and hell are both outer conditions - they are not their own qualities. These are the worldly people. That’s what worldly people are doing. They say: “If this condition is fulfilled, then I will be happy.” So happiness depends on the condition. “If a palace is there, then I will be happy; so much money in the bank, then I will be happy; such a beautiful wife, then I will be happy, or such a good, loving husband, then I will be happy.” You are happy only when something outside is fulfilled, and you say: “If this is not fulfilled, I am unhappy.” This is what an unreligious man is. And the so-called religious men also go on seeking heaven, avoiding hell. They are doing the same.
For you, this is going to be the sadhana - the discipline. Move to opposites as much as possible and try to carry your inner integrity. Sitting silent, feel what this inner quality is. Then go into activity with that quality being retained inside. It will be lost many times, but don’t be worried. If even once you can carry it to the opposite pole, you have become master of it. Then you know the knack of it.
Sometimes move to the hills; they are beautiful. Then come back to the world; that too is beautiful. If hills are beautiful, why not people? They are also hills in their own right. Sometimes be alone, sometimes be with others. And if you are alert, not only will there be no contradiction, help will be coming from the opposites.