Chapter 13: Of Love of One’s Neighbor
But these are not the things which can keep you together for your whole life. You have to know each other in every possible way. And it is not that one man and one girl can meet only once; one time they can remain three days together. If again they meet, and they want to be together, they can be together again for three days.
I asked one of the old men, “Why three days?”
He said, “It is our experience that after three days some kind of attachment starts growing. To change after three days keeps our whole community free of jealousy.”
You need not be jealous of anybody. You know perfectly well your husband has been with hundreds of girls, your wife has been with hundreds of boys - you are one of them. There is no question of jealousy, there is no question of quarreling. There is no necessity to dig into each other’s past: With whom you have been? Am I the first person you have loved?
A strange idea exists all over the civilized countries: every girl wants to be the only one - for what? Every young man wants to be the only one she has loved. This kind of love is bound to create jealousy. This kind of love is bound to create divorce. This kind of love, if forced, is bound to create prostitutes - just for a change. Otherwise you are boring each other - every day, twenty-four hours a day. Everybody has a limit, then he is bored.
There comes a time when it brings a nervous breakdown. In their tribes there are no psychiatrists, no psychoanalysts. And even if any psychoanalyst comes, there is nobody who is going to be his patient, because they don’t have any dreams to be analyzed, they don’t have any quarrels and fights with their spouses to be settled.
I was amazed to see that aboriginals don’t commit suicide. They don’t have much to live for - not the luxuries, not the palaces - but every night the whole tribe dances. Their food consists of the minimum; undernourished they are, but their spirits soar high: on the full moon night, the whole night they will dance and sing.
I asked the man, “What is your teaching going to do for them? You are poisoning them. You can go to your universities where your well-educated people are. What are they doing? In what way have they become a better species?”
He was very shocked. He said, “I have been they working for fifty years with the idea that I am they doing a selfless service. But perhaps you are right.”
I said, “You are not doing a selfless service. You are simply escaping from yourself. This whole service is just an engagement; and in the name of public service, it is easy, respectable - here and hereafter. Have you ever meditated? You have been fifty years in the forest, in the mountains. Have you given any time to yourself?” He said, “I have been working my whole time to create more schools, to find more teachers, to find more students, to cultivate culture and civilization in them.”