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Chapter 1: Trust Is the Bridge between You and Existence

So I said, “That simply proves this man is a coward. He’s an escapist. And if he has renounced the world then what is he doing here? This too is the world!”

“He may have left his house but now he’s staying in somebody else’s house. He has simply renounced his responsibilities. He has left his wife and his children. The children will become beggars, the wife will become a prostitute, and who is responsible for it? And this man has become a parasite, because he is not doing anything. His whole job is to let people touch his feet.”

My father stopped taking me. But I would follow him and he would say, “Listen, you are not to come with me.”

I said, “I am not coming with you. And this road does not belong to you. I don’t know where you are going and I don’t even want to know. Neither do you need to be worried about me. It is just coincidence that you happen to be ahead of me and I happen to be behind you.”

He would stop. I would stop. He said, “This is not good, creating unnecessary fuss in the marketplace.”

I said, “you are creating, I was walking silently. I have not raised a single question. Why have you stopped? And if you can stop without my permission, why can’t I stop without your permission? It is a government road.”

And finally I would reach wherever he was going, and as we were coming near the temple, or near the place where some saint was staying, he would start persuading me, “Okay, you have come but keep quiet.”

I said, “If I see something stupid, I cannot keep quiet. I need honest answers.”

He said, “It seems I will have to stop going to the temple, going to the saints - just because of you!”

I said, “It does not matter, I can go without you. And I will create more trouble because these people you are worshipping are the ugliest people I have seen.”

The Hindu saints have such big bellies that one has to decide whether the man has the belly or the belly has the man. And these are the people who have renounced the world! So I used to ask: “What is the matter with his belly, is he pregnant?”

The simple fact is, the people who renounce sex start eating more and more, as a substitute. Food becomes their obsession. These big bellies of Hindu saints are nothing but symbolic of repressed sex.

And you are worshipping these psychologically sick people. I don’t see any light in their eyes, I don’t see any grace in their faces. I don’t see any authority in their words. They quote scriptures. Their whole “being” is within inverted commas - they don’t know anything on their own.

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