Chapter 8: Male Mind, Female Mind, No-Mind
Then do nondoing. It is a doing, that’s why I say “do.” Very subtle. Gross is the first, the part when you do. Second is the subtle; soon you will realize that this, again, is that you are doing - you are trying not to do, but the trying is there and that is effort. Your effortlessness is also effort. But you can understand it right now, what I am saying. That is not the point: you have to feel it, pass through it, realize it. Maturity is needed - through experiencing - then one day gross and subtle both disappear. Suddenly you are sitting there - nothing to do and nothing not to do.
Then what will you do? You will simply be. There is no need to chase the tail. Now, the dog knows that the tail belongs to him; now, the dog has become a buddha. This is enlightenment.
The second question:
During darshan or your lectures I sometimes get overwhelmed by the phenomenon that is you. And then I think that it must have been like that when I sat at the feet of Buddha, Christ, and other masters - and failed. Will you please promise me not to leave any stone unturned to make sure that you will be my last master?
That depends on you. I will not leave any stone unturned, but that is not going to help very much - Buddha also didn’t leave any stone unturned, neither Jesus. No master ever leaves any stone unturned, but no master can confer enlightenment on you. Unless you understand, nothing can be done.
Sometimes, the very effort of the master may even create a resistance in you. I feel that many times. If I am after you too much you start escaping from me. If I am trying too hard to do something you become afraid. I have to give you doses according to your capacity to digest.
It depends on you. If you want, everything is possible; but deep down you don’t want it. That is the problem you cling to it. You say that you would like to be enlightened, you say that you are finished with this whole rotten life and you would like to transcend it - but are you really finished with it? Have you really closed your accounts with it? Is not there somewhere deep inside you a desire lurking still, a hope alive still, a seed which can sprout any moment in another life? If you watch you will understand that there is a desire, a hope, that you may not have known the whole of life, that maybe there is something you have been missing, that maybe there was some bliss and you didn’t knock at the right door. That continues.
You come to me, but you come halfheartedly. That is not a coming; that is not a coming at all. You only appear to come to me, but you never come. I promise you I will not leave any stone unturned, but are you here? Are you close to me, near? You are very cunning and clever; even when you are close you go on protecting yourself in a thousand and one ways.