Chapter 10: The Secret of Totality
In reference to the subject of offering to the divine, please explain what is the significance of will and surrender?
What are the similarities and differences between will and surrender?
The end is always the same, but the beginning differs, and all the differences belong always to the beginning. The nearer you reach, the less is the difference between paths.
In the beginning will and surrender are diametrically opposed. Surrender means absolute will-lessness. You have no will of your own, you feel helpless, you feel you cannot do anything. You are so totally helpless that you cannot even say that will exists, the very concept of will is illusory. You have no will. Rather, on the contrary, you have destiny, not will, so you can only surrender. It is not that you surrender; rather, it is that you cannot do anything else.
So surrender is not an act. Rather, it is a recognition. It is not an act. How can surrender be an act? How can you surrender? If you surrender, then how will you call it surrender when you remain the master? If you surrender, then you remain the “willer,” the surrender has been willed. They are diametrically opposite. You cannot will surrender. So surrender is not an act; rather, it is a recognition - the recognition of the phenomenon of will-lessness. There is no will, so you cannot will.
You cannot do anything, everything is just happening. You have happened, and all else that has followed has just been a happening. To feel this, to know this, is a recognition. Suddenly you become aware of the fact that there is no will in you. With this recognition ego disappears, because the ego can exist only if there is will.
So ego means the totality of willed acts. If there is will, then you can be. If there is no will, you disappear. Then you are just a wave in a great infinite ocean and you cannot will anything. You are as a happening; you will not be as a happening. What can a wave do in an infinite ocean? It has been “waved” by the ocean. It is not, it only appears to be.
If you feel this, and this feeling is a deep search, digging down deep in yourself - is there any will? - then you find you are just a dead leaf blown by the wind. So sometimes you go north and sometimes you go south - and the dead leaf may begin to think that it is going south - only the wind is blowing and the dead leaf is following. If you go deep down in yourself you will become aware of a total will-lessness. The recognition of it is surrender. It is not an act. And if you surrender, if the surrender happens, there is no need to offer, you cannot.