Chapter 9: Surrender Can Only Be Total
And remember: he can kill you only if he is also suicidal, otherwise not. If he enjoys good food he cannot force fasting on you - impossible. If he lives in a beautiful house he cannot tell you to live in a hut, in a cottage. So this is absolutely logical: if he wants to destroy you, he will have to destroy himself. The more he tortures himself the more he gets control over you, to torture you. He will fast, he will destroy his body. And the more he destroys his body, the more he has you around the neck. Now he can crush you completely and crush you with a good conscience.
This is the phenomenon. With a wrong master, with an egoistic master, whatsoever happens goes wrong; his discipline becomes sadism, his own life becomes masochistic, his whole being becomes destructive. Ego is destructive. Then relationship can exist. With a wrong master relationship can exist, because on the part of the master there is also ego, and the ego wants to relate. The ego cannot exist without relating.
But if there is a real master, relationship exists only on the part of the disciple. You love him. You obey him. He is not concerned with your obedience. He is not concerned with your love. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care. He cares infinitely, but there is no one who can be related. His care is natural - just as water flows downward his care flows toward you. Even if you are not there his care goes on flowing.
Whatsoever - I am here with you. When you are not here then too I am the same, my being goes on flowing in the same way. When nobody is there I remain the same. When you are there I am the same. If I were to change then the ego would be there, because the ego exists in relationship. When you come, the ego comes in, becomes active and alive. When you go the ego becomes lazy, falls asleep. Then there is a change.
With you or without you my emptiness remains the same. The care goes on flowing. The love goes on flowing. There is no lover. I cannot choose to love or not to love. If I can choose, then I am there. Relationship exists on your part, and that will continue to exist unless you surrender.
Surrender is the greatest and deepest relationship - and the end of relationship also. If you surrender you have come to the deepest relationship that is possible. Beyond that, relationship disappears. Surrendered, you are no more, and the master has never been there. Now two empty spaces cannot be two. You cannot draw a line between two empty spaces. You cannot make boundaries around emptiness. Two emptinesses become one, and relationship cannot exist - because for relationship two are needed.
So at the last moment of surrender - try to understand this - at the last moment of surrender, the greatest relationship that is possible exists. The deepest, the most intimate relationship exists - of course, on your part. The next moment, when you have surrendered, everything has disappeared. Now there is neither master nor disciple. And now the master and disciple both can laugh. They can have a belly laugh. They can have an uproarious laugh about the whole nonsense that was there just a moment before.