Chapter 12: If You Want Consolation, Go Somewhere Else
From your answer to the woman who falls in love with bank balances, not the man, I realized that I can’t even see the man, let alone love him. I have accepted my mother’s angry conditioning towards men. When a man comes to me with his love, I run away, which encourages him to chase me. This game I play is so ugly. Please Osho, help me to drop this garbage, to be able to see men and to know their beauty, their gifts, their love.
Before I answer your question I would like everyone to know that if you are not capable of understanding me when it is a question of your personal relationships then don’t bring those questions to me, because I cannot lie and console you. I am not a consoler. Don’t force me to be a baby-sitter.
When you bring a question to me, you have to be ready to understand my vision, my clarity, my understanding, even if it goes against your ego. It is bound to, because all your questions are arising out of the ego. That is your basic problem; all other problems are only by-products.
As far as I am concerned, I am not interested in your personal relationships; that is absolutely your own nightmare. You have chosen to suffer - suffer. But when you bring a question to me, then remember that I am simply going to say the truth of someone who can observe without being a party to anybody. This is not ordinarily the case in the world. Whenever you go to someone with a question about your personal relationship and the suffering it is bringing, the worldly way is to console you.
In some way, all the religions have been doing that for centuries. They have all found explanations so that nothing has to be changed; you are not to grow in consciousness and awareness. They only go on giving you homeopathic sugar pills - consoling you that it is your past life and its evil acts that are affecting your life, shadowing your life, bringing misery to you. All you can do is accept it and be patient, because God is compassionate and you will be finally forgiven. This is an opium; it keeps you half asleep.
People have chosen all these consolations because they help them to avoid taking the trouble of changing their consciousness, their understanding, their attitudes. Nothing has to be changed; you cannot do anything. So relax in your position, accept it as your fate, because if nothing can be done about it, the only thing possible is acceptance.
Acceptance brings a kind of peace - dead, hiding your despair, your anguish, your suffering. But knowing that nothing is in your hands; everything is in the hands of God.you are only a puppet. When he pulls your strings, you dance; whatever he wants to do with you, he does. It helps you to remain in a condition of being half asleep. And it also takes away the responsibility from you. You cannot do anything; hence you are not responsible for what is happening - you are not contributing to the suffering of yourself and the person you are related to.
And you can go on repeating the same vicious circle your whole life. Slowly, slowly you become accustomed, you become immune. You know this is how life is. That’s why there has not been any revolution in human relationships.