Chapter 4: Fighting Cock
Ejaculation is not orgasm, it is just the physical part of it. Orgasm is psychic, it is spiritual. Ejaculation is just futile; it can relieve the body, that’s all. It works as a safety valve: when there is too much energy you can release it through ejaculation, but that is not the real thing. The real thing is when you come to a peak of vibrancy, you come to a peak of ecstasy, and from that peak everything relaxes, your whole being relaxes. First, the whole being vibrates with a new music - it is in tune with the cosmos, the ego is not there, you are just energy; there is nobody inside, just energy moving like a river in flood - and then the flood goes, the river relaxes, and you are in tune with the whole cosmos - then it is orgasm. Orgasm is an inner phenomenon.
But orgasm has become impossible, and because of the lack of orgasm ninety percent of people are neurotic in a subtle way. This is because you have lost the easiest approach to the divine. You have lost the natural possibility of being one, even for moments, with the whole. And the whole rejuvenates, the whole gives you life and energy, the whole refreshes you. And the old is destroyed by the orgasm - your whole energy becomes new, fresh and young. Otherwise, you go on becoming dull and dead. But this has become impossible because of the ego. The problem is the same, whether it is in the dimension of sex, or of love, or of prayer, or of meditation, the problem is the same. You have to surrender, and the ego cannot surrender, it can only fight.
Why is the ego always ready to fight? Every moment you are ready to jump upon someone, to find an excuse to fight, argue, and be angry. Why is the ego always in search of a fight? Because fight is the fuel: through fight it feels powerful; through fight it exists. Ego is the deepest violence, and if you want to strengthen the ego you have to go on fighting continuously. For twenty-four hours a day you have to fight with something or other. But an enemy must be there so that you can have the challenge, the conflict, and you can maintain the ego.
Ego needs constant war. Why? Firstly, through war it accumulates energy. Secondly, ego is always afraid, that is why it is always ready to fight - there is fear. Ego can never be fearless, never. Why? Because it is a false thing, it is not natural, it is not part of the Tao. It is an artificial human device; you have to manage it and maintain it continuously. If for even a single moment you don’t manage it, it will disappear - that is the fear. So you are constantly alert.
If for even twenty-four hours you live an egoless existence, you will be surprised, amazed, mystified. What happened to that ego which you have been carrying for so many lives? Even within twenty-four hours it will simply disappear because it needs a constant refueling, again and again. It is not a natural phenomenon; it has no perpetual energy in it.
Existence goes on perpetually, eternally; it has something eternal, inexhaustible. This tree may die, but immediately another tree will replace it; the energy moves into another. Your body may fall, but the energy moves into another body. You have deep down, like everything else in existence, some eternal energy which cannot be exhausted. You need fuel for the body. If you don’t eat and don’t drink you will die. If you don’t eat, then within three months you will die; if you don’t drink, within three weeks you will die; if you don’t breathe, within three minutes you will die. Constant fuel is needed for the body because the body is not an eternal phenomenon.