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Chapter 5: Existence Loves Imperfection

So I told him one day, “Tomorrow is the convocation day and you will do the same again. Perhaps you are not aware that everybody is laughing; people are controlling their laughter because it doesn’t look good. It is a serious affair, the convocation. But your pants shake so much that it is very difficult, particularly for the people who are sitting in the front, who can see your whole pants shaking.”

He said, “My pants shaking? You never told me..”

I said, “I thought you must know. They are your pants, and you are putting shaking hands into the pockets. It is a natural, logical corollary that the pants will shake.

“So tomorrow, remember - because it makes the whole thing very ridiculous - you keep your hands out. And if you don’t keep your hands out, I will come and take your hands out.”

He said, “What?”

I said, “Tomorrow will be decisive.because people can feel compassion if your hands are shaking in old age; it is not something to be laughed at.”

He said, “But I am very much afraid to keep them out.”

I said, “Then I will have to come on the stage.”

The convocation day came, and he was not courageous enough to keep his hands out. Now knowing perfectly well, he was trying to hold his pants from the inside, controlling, and this was making things even worse, because now everybody knew that he was holding the pants from inside, and the whole pants were shaking. They were shaking more than they used to shake. Before, it was only the hands and their vibration, but now he was holding the pants, so the pants were shaking really badly.

So I stood up. He said, “Sit! Sit down! You need not come.” And he took his hands out. There was great laughter and there was great silence afterwards - what was the matter?

Just as I stood, he took his hands out and everybody saw that his hands were shaking. I said, “Now it is okay, you keep them out of the pants, and it is not a problem at all. Your hands are sick and you are old, but your pants are new and fresh and young. Because of your trying to control and hide, the young and fresh and new full pants are shaking like an old man.”

He said, “I will keep them out, but you sit down. I had never thought that you would do that to me.”

I said, “Just remember that I am here.”

When Turiya was trying to control, I remembered my old vice-chancellor. The more she was trying to control, the more things were going out of control. It was good that she put the camera down and closed her eyes.

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