Chapter 30: The Path Goes Round and Round
One of the wisest steps is to never live with the woman you love. Live separately, so you are free to be alone, she is free to be alone. Never make promises and commitments, never demand that only you should be loved. On the contrary, if your woman or your man on the weekends takes a little joy in somebody else, it is perfectly good for a change. And after the change, back to the working days, it feels better. One is rested, and one’s mind is no more wandering, and one knows that this woman or that, this man or that, they are all the same. When the light is turned off, then all differences disappear!
So just enjoy your aloneness. That does not mean that you have to remain without creating any friends, but make it clear always.At least my people should remember it. The old world has suffered so much because these simple things were not understood, and they made it almost compulsory that you have to be together once you have decided to be with someone. This goes against man’s frailty, man’s weakness.
Man is not made of steel. What is love today, tomorrow may not be. If tomorrow somebody else catches your eye, what can you do about it? The old man used to repress it, but when you repress something it turns into anger against the woman whom you are now tied to like a prisoner. The woman hates the husband because she is tied.
Just a few days ago one sannyasin was saying, “I have given him enough rope.” What do you think your husband is - a dog? You are giving enough rope, but the rope is in your hands. The moment you see the dog has seen some other girlfriend, you pull the rope back: “You son of a bitch, come back!” This is not love, this is pure politics. It is a lust for power, domination.
Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world. “I did not sleep with my wife before I was married,” said one clergyman self-righteously. “Did you?”
“I don’t know,” said the other. “What was her maiden name?”
And these are the people who are enforcing morality, who are teaching you to be committed, to be loyal, who are teaching you to remain attached with one person. Nobody is concerned whether it creates a hell for you and the other.
There is an ancient parable:
A man’s father died, so the whole neighborhood came to console him. Many old people said to him, “Don’t be worried, if your father is dead we are here. Your father was our friend and we are just like your father; you will not miss him. You can always come for any advice or for any help. We are available to you, you are just like our son.”