Chapter 39: Growing Up Comes by Itself
The mango seed, when two leaves start growing in it, can be taken out, and it makes a very good whistle. My interest was not in the mangoes, my interest was in getting more whistles. But even that needs patience - just those two leaves. But impatience was such that it was even impossible to get those two leaves to grow. Every morning I would dig up the seed to see what was happening, and that would destroy the whole thing.
Growth is something that happens by the side. You meditate, you sing, you dance, you rejoice, and suddenly, one day you will find those two leaves of the mango are growing above the ground - so fresh, so beautiful. Growth is a finding on the margin; you cannot make it a goal. That’s what is making you so upset, impatient, and irritable! You have made growing up your goal. Now what can you do? Get stretched on a traction machine?
“When will we all come to the responsibility of just being the You in us: that gracefulness that we all know ourselves to be?” Any question about when shows that you have not understood my emphasis on the present moment; you have not understood my approach of here and now. Enjoy this moment, and forget the lot! And growth will come suddenly one day, not as a reward, but as a shadow of your living moment-to-moment, joyously.
“When” always takes you into the future, it always thinks of tomorrows. And the basic spiritual insight of thousands of years is that tomorrow never comes. This very moment will become another moment, your today will continue to remain today, the tomorrow will come in the form of today. But our whole system of thought is goal-oriented. We are always living in the future, and nobody can live in the future; or we are living in the past, and nobody can live in the past either.
The only way to live is to enjoy this moment, to cherish this moment, to make it as beautiful as possible. And out of this moment will come the next moment, out of this moment will come your whole future. This moment contains the whole eternity - past and future.
You are saying, “I feel that the time is ripe to stop whining about misery, and misunderstandings, pain, and discomforts. Could it be that as a disciple, I simply take You, Your presence, Your answers, Your insights, and Your grace for granted?”
Do you really feel, that “the time is ripe to stop whining about misery, and misunderstandings”? And what are you doing in your question? What is this about being “upset, impatient, and irritable,” and “when will I grow up”? If it is not whining about misery, and pain, and discomforts, then what is it? You have not felt that the time is ripe - you have only thought. Thinking is of no help. Thinking is a cheat. It talks great things, it gives you big promises, but the goods are never delivered.
Remember a clear-cut distinction between thinking and feeling: those who are feeling “the time is ripe” are not whining about any misery. They are enjoying the ripe time, and by enjoying, they are making it riper.
Of course, it is true - at least about you - that you have started taking my presence for granted. That is the natural habit of the mind. It starts taking for granted things which it will repent only when it has lost them.