Chapter 6: Pure Consciousness Has Never Gone Mad
The other night, along with a few other people, I was hypnotized by Kaveesha. When she began by asking us to take deep breaths - the Zen flute playing, the incense and the candle burning - I immediately went into a space where my chest felt full, like tears were welling up inside. I felt like I was in a space that I once was in before - a place where I was closest to my inner home, a place my body was relaxed in, where meditation came naturally and the surroundings were warm.
Why was there sadness coming up when this experience was happening?
With every experience of this kind you will feel a certain sadness coming to you. The sadness is: “Why does this experience not remain forever?” The sadness simply signifies your deep longing for this state to become stable. And it is a natural phenomenon: whenever you feel something that is of immense beauty and peace, you would like to remain in it forever, to feel there is nothing that can bring you out of it. But one has to come out of it - and that brings sadness.
But don’t take that sadness in any negative way. It is a good indicator. It simply shows that you should practice it more - go deeper - and one day it becomes a natural phenomenon. Twenty-four hours a day you are surrounded with a fragrance, with a light, with silence within. Twenty-four hours a day you are relaxed, there is no tension in your body, in your mind. But before it comes, many times you will feel sad - “Why is it not a permanent state of my being?”
It is simply a longing that is becoming sadness. The window opens, you see the sunset; and before you have even seen it and the beauty has been absorbed, the window closes. And there is sadness: “The window could have remained open a little more.” But the window opens only according to your capacity. Whatever you have earned, the window remains open only for that long. Beyond that it can be dangerous.
So don’t feel bad about sadness; it is a safety too. Even in experiences of oneself, safety measures are needed. But nature has them already prepared for you. You will have a glimpse only for that much time and to that much depth - as much as you deserve - neither less nor more. And it is good, because if you get more you will not be able to absorb it.
Everybody who is meditating comes to a point when he starts feeling, “Why does meditation not continue the whole day?” But he does not know that he is not capable of handling the world and its affairs with meditation running as an undercurrent. He will be in difficulty. He may be in great danger: the world has no need of meditation. You will have just as much as you deserve, and you should feel thankful for it. It will be growing.with your gratitude it will be growing.
But sadness can become a barrier, because each time you come to the window you will have sadness; they will become associated. And the law of association is really a difficult law. Then it will become more and more difficult to get rid of sadness.
So simply don’t pay any attention to sadness. If it comes, take it in the natural way. It is natural; you had a beautiful experience, and it has gone. Sadness is simply its going away, a friend departing. But don’t give more importance to it. Ignore it; accepting it as natural, ignore it.