Chapter 2: A Boundless Drop to a Boundless Ocean
Buddha remained at the gate; perhaps the same situation arises in every mystic’s life. But existence has certain cosmic laws. It never makes any exceptions. That’s why I said it is a beautiful story, signifying a tremendously meaningful truth. Don’t forget: existence cannot allow exceptions, Buddha or no Buddha. If you have arrived, you have arrived. I know from my own experience: there are no gates to paradise and there are no gatekeepers. Yet I cannot tarry longer.
Almustafa wants to tarry a little longer, but it is against the rules of our very life. He has to go; he will have to go - with a deep sadness in his heart.
He has achieved blissfulness, peace, silence, serenity. He has blossomed into thousands of flowers. His spring has come, but others are still seeds. Millions have even forgotten that they are seeds, that they have a potentiality of growth. Hence, every realized soul would like to tarry a little longer just to say that which is almost impossible to say. But at least that which cannot be said can be shown; perhaps not in words but in silence.
He would like to tarry a little longer so the people living in darkness can at least see what is possible to a man - his aroma, his presence - to tarry a little longer so that a few can drink from his eyes, from his presence, from his grace. Now that he is capable of becoming a bridge between these two worlds which are unbridgeable, the rules do not allow it. However much he wants to tarry a little longer, he will have to go:
The sea that calls all things unto her calls me, and I must embark.
It is impossible, when the universe calls you, to say no. You are part of it.
Your heartbeats are not different from the heartbeat of the universe. You are not separate. You are separate only in your ignorance. As you become enlightened, as your interiority becomes full of light, there is a great shock and surprise waiting for you: “My God, now I can help, but the universe is calling me. Unwillingly, reluctantly, but I will have to go. I must embark.”
This is a totally different kind of sadness. You all have known sadness that was selfish. You have lost something - a beloved, a friend, a mother, a father. Your sadness has always been of losing something that you never wanted to lose. Your sadness is the sadness of the bankrupt.
But the sadness Almustafa is talking about is not your sadness. Even your moments of happiness are lower, far lower than the moments of sadness of a man who is standing at the door - because the whole situation has changed. He is not sad for himself. Now he is no more. He is only bliss, he is only ecstasy; the question of sadness does not arise.
His sadness is for others. He can do something, but the ship is coming and the sea is calling and existence accepts no exceptions, he will have to embark.
Joy in the heart for what has happened to him, and tears in his eyes because he will be leaving all those with whom he has lived long, suffered long. He has been almost one with them.