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Chapter 59: Watch from the Hill

Suppose you contemplate something
beyond perception,
beyond grasping,
beyond not being.
- you.

I am existing.
This is mine.
This is this.
Oh beloved,
even in such know illimitably.

Man is Janus-faced - animal and divine both. Animal belongs to his past, divine belongs to his future, and this creates the difficulty. The past has passed, it is no more; just a shadow of it lingers on. And the future is still the future, it has not yet come; it just a dream, just a possibility. And between these two exists man - the shadow of the past and the dream of the future. He is neither and he is both.

He is both because the past is his - he was animal. He is both because the future is his - he can be divine. And he is not both, because the past is no more and the future is yet to be.

Man exists as a tension between these two: that which was and that which can be. This creates a conflict, a constant struggle to realize, to be something. In a sense, man is not. Man is just a step from the animal to the divine - and a step is nowhere. It was somewhere and it will be somewhere, but right now it is nowhere, just hanging in the air.

So whatsoever man is doing - whatsoever I say - he is never satisfied in it, never content, because two diametrically opposite existences meet in him. If the animal is satisfied then the divine is in discontent. If the divine is satisfied then the animal is in discontent. A part is always in discontent.

If you move to the animal, in a way you satisfy part of your being, but immediately in that satisfaction dissatisfaction arises, because the opposite part, your future, is just contrary to it. The satisfaction of the animal is the dissatisfaction of the possibility of your future. If you satisfy your divine possibility the animal revolts; it feels hurt. A definite discontent arises within you. You cannot satisfy both, and satisfying one, the other is dissatisfied.

I remember one anecdote. One sports car enthusiast reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter welcomed him. He had come with his Jaguar, and the first thing he asked St. Peter was this: “Are there beautiful highways in heaven?”

St. Peter said, “Yes, they have the most beautiful highways, but there is one difficulty - in heaven they don’t allow automobiles.”

The speed-fiend said, “Then it is not for me. Then please arrange for me to be sent to the other place. I would like to go to hell. I cannot leave my Jaguar.”

So it was arranged. He reached hell, he came to the gates, and Satan welcomed him and said that he was very happy to see him. He said, “You are just like me; I am also a lover of Jaguars.”

The speed-fiend said, “Fine, give me the map of your highways.”

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