Chapter 5: Truth Is Not Veiled
The day they burned the body the woman opened her eyes. But by that time she had lost the capacity to see - a very deep investment. Her eyes were perfectly okay, no physiological trouble. The doctors were amazed. They said, “There is no problem, everything is perfectly normal.” But she couldn’t see. It was as if somebody behind the eyes had stepped back; somebody who was standing behind the eyes and looking at the world had stepped back. Now the window was there, but nobody to look through it.
For four weeks she remained psychically blind. And in her blindness she was continuously saying, “Who says that my husband is dead? If he is dead, then where is his corpse?” Even in dreams in the night, suddenly she would start saying, “Who says my husband is dead?” And she knows, deep down she knows that the husband is dead, but the mind would not like to believe it. The mind would like to live in an illusion. Even an illusion is beautiful if the husband is alive, and the reality will not be so beautiful if the husband is dead. They had really loved each other very deeply.
The woman was brought to me. I had known them before. When she came to me she was behaving as if she was completely blind; somebody had to help her. I said to her, “Your husband is very much troubled. Just this morning he has been to see me and he is suffering very much. Why don’t you see? - the medical experts say there is nothing wrong with your eyes.” I talked as if the husband was alive.
Now this was too much. Suddenly she broke, fell down, started rolling on the ground, and said, “My husband is dead. Why do you say he has been to you this morning? He is dead.” And the eyes came back, suddenly the stony look in the eyes disappeared - she was able to see.
What to do? What happened? Suddenly she realized a fact which she had been denying; through the denial a false blindness had happened. Once she accepted the fact that the husband was dead, she screamed. I have never seen anybody scream that way; that must be what Janov calls the primal scream. From the very guts she screamed. It was not a scream done by her, it was a scream that possessed her whole being, every pore of it. The whole bodymind went into a volcanic state. The whole being trembled. It took almost half an hour for her to come back to normal. But the storm had gone and she was silent, and she looked at me and she thanked me.
This is the problem with every man. You know many things, but still you want to pretend against them. And there is no possibility of your ever being victorious against the truth. Nobody can be victorious. You can try for many lives more, as you have tried for many lives up to now, but against the truth there is no victory. Victory is always with the truth. You can create illusions, you can live in a blindfolded world of your dreams, you can live with closed eyes, but that makes no difference - your fictitious world is fictitious, and the truth is waiting there. And the more you live in the fictions, the more you will be afraid of their being shattered. This is the investment.