Chapter 8: Love Makes No Shadow
For example, if you love a woman and you ask absolute fidelity, you will go mad and she will go mad. This is not possible: absolute fidelity means she will not even think, she will not even dream of another man. This is not possible. Who are you? Why has she fallen in love with you? - because you are a man. If she can fall in love with you, why can’t she think of others? That possibility remains open. And how is she going to manage if she sees some beautiful person walking by and if a desire arises in her? Even to say, “This man is beautiful,” is to desire - the desire has entered. You only say that something is beautiful when it feels worthy of being possessed, of being enjoyed. You are not indifferent.
Now if you ask absolute fidelity, as people have asked, then there is bound to be conflict and you will remain suspicious. And you will remain suspicious because you know your mind too: you also think of other women, so how can you trust that your woman is not thinking of other men? You know you are thinking, so you know she is also thinking. Now.distrust, conflict, agony. The love that was possible has become impossible because of an impossible desire.
People ask that which cannot be done. You want security for the future, which is not possible. You want absolute security for tomorrow. It cannot be guaranteed, it is not in the nature of life. An intelligent person knows that it is not in the nature of life - the future remains open. The bank can go bankrupt, the wife can escape with somebody else, the husband can die, the children may prove unworthy. Who knows about tomorrow? You may fall ill, you may become crippled.who knows about tomorrow?
To ask security for tomorrow means to remain in constant fear; it is not possible, so fear cannot be destroyed. Fear will be there, you will be trembling; and meanwhile the present moment is being missed. With the desire of security in the future you are destroying the present, which is the only life available. And more and more you will become shaken, afraid, greedy.
A child is born. A child is a very, very open phenomenon, utterly intelligent, but we jump upon him, we start destroying his intelligence. We start creating fear in him. You call it teaching, you call it making the child capable of coping with life. You create fear in him. He is unafraid. And your schools, colleges, universities - they all make him more and more unintelligent. They demand foolish things.they demand foolish things to be crammed in which the child and his natural intelligence cannot see any point - for what? That child cannot see the point: why cram these things? But the university says, the college says, the home, the family, the wellwishers say, “Cram! You don’t know now, but later on you will know why it is needed.”