Chapter 2: Empty Eyes
Those few moments of trust - let them be few and far between, don’t be worried - they are enough to destroy all your doubts slowly, slowly. And by “destroying” I mean just releasing the energy contained in doubt. Just breaking the shell called doubt.and deep inside you will find the pure energy to trust. Once it is released more and more trust will be available to you.
You say, “I do not know if you are enlightened.” Good that you don’t believe. If you start believing you will stop seeking. A believer never moves - he has already believed. That’s why there are millions of people worshipping in the churches, temples, mosques, gurudwaras, but their worship is out of belief. Because it is out of belief, those millions of people remain irreligious: they don’t search for God, they don’t seek God - they have already accepted. Their acceptance is lame; they have not struggled for it, they have not earned it.
You have to fight, you have to struggle, you have to earn. Nothing is without a price in life; you have to pay the price. They have not paid the price - and they think that just by worshipping in a temple they will attain? They are utter fools, they are wasting their time. All their worship is just an illusion.
The really religious person cannot believe; he searches. Because he cannot believe, he remains in doubt, and nobody can be at rest with doubt. One has to seek and search and to find. Doubt goes on gnawing at your being, goes on goading you: “Search, seek, find, and don’t be contented before you have found.”
Good that you cannot believe. Only remember: there is no need to believe and there is no need to disbelieve. And that’s happening. And I am happy.
You say, “I can only feel your beauty and trust.”
That’s all that is needed. That’s enough, more than enough. That will become the boat to the other shore - if you can feel my love, if you can feel my trust in you, if you can feel my hope in you, if you can see that something beautiful has happened - although you don’t know what exactly it is. You cannot define it and you cannot explain it, but if you can even feel that something of the beyond.. That’s what beauty is. Beauty is always of the beyond.
Whenever you see a roseflower and you say, “It is beautiful,” what do you mean? You are saying that you have seen something of the beyond, something invisible has become visible to you. You cannot prove it. If somebody else standing by your side denies seeing any beauty in the rose, you cannot prove it to him - there is no way. You will just have to shrug your shoulders. You will say, “Then nothing can be done about it. I see and you don’t see, and that is that.”