Chapter 13: You Are More than You Think
Try to know your ego and don’t make any judgments, that this is good or this is bad; look at it directly. And if you cannot even see your own ego you will never be able to see the thou or that, because the ego is your outer layer and thou is your center. How can one who has not yet come to know his ego know thou or that?
So first know this I and as you come to know this I it will disperse. The fire of this knowing reduces the I into ashes. The I vanishes like smoke, as if it never was, it vanishes like a shadow. As soon as it vanishes the seeker stands facing the thou. But the sage says this thou is also not yet the ultimate because it exists in relation to the I, which existed before; this thou has been founded on the memory of the I.
Even if the situation changes our memory does not, it needs time to change. The memory of the I has come from many, many past lives. So even if the ego becomes a shadow today our language will not change, because language is created only around the I. We will still speak the same language. Although the ego has been proved to be nonexistent and has withered away and is now known to be only a shadow, still our language was born around that shadow; a new language is not going to be created in a day. Our way of seeing was always from that position.
If a blind man regains his sight he will not be able to drop his cane all at once. Even if he has regained his sight he will still walk with the cane for a little while because he has been associating with it for such a long time, and now it is difficult to lose his dependency on it. Although the cane has now become useless, it will take time for him to find full confidence in his eyes and to leave the cane behind.
Even if the I disappears, our language and memory will still move around it. This is why the first glimpse of reality will be in the language of thou. In the first experience of reality there will also be a glimpse of deep love. The reason behind it is that we have always been seeking for love which we never found; we have been searching for the beloved whom we have never met. We have searched for many lives and failed. So when for the first time the divine manifests itself within and the ultimate consciousness permeates, it appears like a meeting with the beloved; that the temple we were looking for is here, that the door we were searching for is just in front of us.
So the first language will be of I and of love. The devotee has always spoken this language. But the sage says that it is not the ultimate language. When the blind man throws his cane away, when the memory of the I vanishes, then how will you be able to call it thou? Who is there to now call it thou? What meaning will there be left in thou? When the I is gone, thou will become useless, it will become meaningless.