Chapter 19: Guilt, the Shadow of the Ego
The body also reacted because of the mind; they come together. The body helps the mind to become negative, and the mind helps the body. But wait, just a little time is needed for healing, and then you will be on level ground - not at the peak and not in the valley.
It is natural. If people come to me with too many fantasies, with a romantic attitude, this disillusionment happens. If you come very realistically, then this is not a problem.
But you have to pass through it. You have chosen it and nothing can be done. But it will go.
A couple talk about relationship problems with Osho.
[the girlfriend, to Osho] I feel you have let me down.
[the boyfriend] She is telling lies and is too possessive when I smile at other women. I want to separate. But in a way we both have the feeling that we could create happiness for each other.
No, if you feel that you can create happiness, then create it right now, not for tomorrow. Tomorrow is very fallacious. In the hope of tomorrow you will create misery today. Tomorrow never comes; it is always today - and you go on hoping for tomorrow.
If you love her, you have to love her lies too; you have to tolerate her nagging and possessiveness and the constant conflict.
[the boyfriend] I can’t do that.
So decide for yourself, people rarely change. When you fall in love, you decide for yourself, and when you want to separate you come to me - so you can throw the responsibility on me. No one ever comes to say that they are falling in love. They come only when they are falling apart.
And she says I am putting her down. If I say separate, you will both be angry. If I say live together, you will both be angry..
If I say live together, then whenever there will be conflict - and there will be twenty-four hours a day - you will be angry with me. You will say that this man is forcing us to live together - and of course you trust me, so you are living together.
But that is not the point. You are living together because you are infatuated - but the responsibility goes on me. If I say separate then you will miss her and she will miss you, and then you will be angry.