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OSHO Online Library   »   The Books   »   Om Shantih Shantih Shantih: The Soundless Sound, Peace Peace Peace
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Chapter 20: Without Ice Cream No Love is Complete

It is very difficult to find a man who will love you and not just as an object of sexual release. It does not mean there will not be any sex. It may be just a small part in a big, romantic, loving, caring atmosphere. It will be very difficult for you to find such a man, and meanwhile you will be becoming older. So my suggestion is, if that man ever comes into your life - very good; meanwhile Niskriya is perfectly okay. And I am not making a story! Niskriya has been interested in Mayoori for at least three years, but Mayoori never gave him any chance to come close. But when she saw that one witch had already got him, the next night she reached to Niskriya.!

Niskriya could not believe it - this is the woman he has been fancying. But Niskriya is a very scientific, mathematical person - a technologist, and that too a German technologist.

So Mayoori was coming to him.he was happy, but it did not last. Next day he asked the question, “Every girl has a boyfriend, every boy has a girlfriend - there are even boys who have boyfriends and girls who have girlfriends.why is nature so hard on me? I only have my camera.!”

You can do everything with the camera, but doing romance is a little too much. You can talk to the camera, say, “Sweetheart.” But for more than that the poor camera cannot help much - and particularly Niskriya’s camera; he won’t even allow anybody to touch it. He is such a perfectionist!

So as far as I know, right now Niskriya is free. You can give him a try. And don’t ask the impossible. Try! The impossible also can happen, but it needs tremendous intelligence, understanding, playfulness. You can create the atmosphere in which even a man like Niskriya may start feeling love for you. I am risking my own cameraman, because he cannot have two romances. His romance is filming and everything has to be perfect.

The most you can do is have your sexual relationship with people who are not romantic in any sense, and have your friendship with people who have gone beyond sex. You will either have to make a certain arrangement or you will have to change the man. It is not only the man’s responsibility to love you, to give you care and understanding and sex, it is also your responsibility. It is a question of a very subtle dialogue.

If you are loving, caring, you will create a kind of synchronicity in the man also. That is the whole art of love. Nature has missed it or did not bother about it, because its concern was different. But your poetic heart, your individuality is far bigger than your biology. It cannot be satisfied only by biology.

But remember, don’t go on looking for that man. Create the situation from your side too.

I have heard.

A man was saying that he has toured around the world looking for a perfect woman. One listener asked him, “Did you find her?”

He said, “Yes, but she was looking for a perfect man.”

Love has to be a sort of creativity.

Then only does sex remain as a small part in it. My understanding is that the woman has more capacity to create the atmosphere of caring because she is by nature programmed to be a mother. Every woman should also be a mother to her lover.

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