Chapter 10: Obeying the Warrior Within
But they have chosen, they have chosen to think that sexuality is bad and brahmacharya is good. They ask me, “If I become a witness will I become brahmacharya, will I become celibate?” They are missing the whole point. I am saying, “Don’t choose,” and they have already chosen. They want to use witnessing as an instrument for their choice. You cannot use witnessing that way.
A man came to me. He was a seeker, a serious seeker, but stupid. There are many stupid seekers - serious. And when I say stupid, I mean they can’t understand what they are doing. That man came to me and I told him.
The man was suffering from sex - everyone is suffering because of sex. The suffering has gone so deep that you don’t only suffer because of your own sexuality, you also suffer because of others’ sexuality. This seems to be madness. You suffer because of your own sexuality and you also suffer because of others’ sexuality, because of what others are doing.
Enough misery can be created by your own sexuality. Why be concerned with others? But that misery doesn’t seem to be enough for you, so you go on collecting what others are doing: who is doing wrong and who is being good. Who are you to decide? From where have you got the right? Who are you to become a policeman?
The man who came to see me was a policeman. He was suffering because of what everyone else was doing. But I told him, “Don’t be worried about others; the real problem must be within you. You have not yet come to terms with your sexuality - that is the problem. Why suffer because of others? Why create other problems? Just to escape from your own? Just to be occupied? Who has appointed you to be a policeman? Why waste your life? Somewhere you must be deeply sex-obsessed, that’s why you are concerned with others.”
So he said, “You have touched the right wound. I am now sixty-five, and I am still suffering. As I become older, I suffer more. It seems that sexuality is growing with my age. The energy is less, but the sexuality is more. As death is coming near, I feel to be more and more sexual. My whole mind, twenty-four hours a day is obsessed with sex.”
I told him, “You have been continuously fighting sex.” He was a great seeker; he had remained with so many saints, so many gurus. I told him, “They have destroyed you. You have reached nowhere. Whatsoever you have been doing is wrong. Now, don’t fight sex anymore.”
The man became afraid. He said, “I have been fighting sex. And this is the result: even with fighting I am so sexual. Now you say, ‘Don’t fight it!’ Then I will become completely mad.”
So I told him, “You have tried fighting - now try the other. You have reached nowhere. Now, don’t fight!”
“Then what,” he asked, “am I supposed to do?”
I told him, “Be a witness.”
He asked, “Will the sexuality disappear then?”