Chapter 7: Time Is Very Short but My Methods Are Very Quick
The truth is Ramateertha had quoted exactly rightly. It does not matter whom he was quoting, what matters is the meaning. He had no knowledge of Sanskrit but he understood. He had read the upanishads in Urdu, he had read the vedas in Urdu, and naturally he had the understanding of the essential message. And that message was so clearly expressed by Sufi mystics - Rumi, Al-Hillaj-Mansoor, Junnaid, Rabiya Al Adabiya; they have expressed the same thing. Of course their language was different. But here he found that he was being treated as a criminal.
Another scholar stood up and said, “Before you speak in front of us, first go and learn Sanskrit.” And he was completely shattered. Now, only an ego can be shattered.
If I was in his place, in the first place I would not have expected any overwhelming reception. If they were not throwing stones at me, that would have been enough - a great reception. If they allowed me to enter Varanasi that would have been more than one could hope. And then I would not have gone to their scholars to be examined, interrogated. I should have torn up that letter then and there, and thrown it on the platform and said to them, “Tell all of them to go to hell! What business have I got to do with your scholars? If they want to do anything, they have to come to me.
“And I have not come here to be certified that I am really a Hindu sage. I myself say that I am not a Hindu, neither am I a sage. So what is the problem? How can you shatter me? - I don’t have any claim. Can’t you even accept me as a human being? If even that is difficult for you, then that is your problem, don’t accept. But that is not going to shatter me either.”
You are shattered only when you are living in a glass house. Then anybody can throw a stone and that’s enough. But I am not living in a glass house. The ego is a glass house: it is continuously afraid of being shattered. Somebody does not say “Hello” to you on the road, and that’s enough. He has not done anything, he has not even said “Hello” - but this man used to say “Hello” every day. It pinches, it hurts: “What happened? Have I fallen in his eyes, or what?” He will disturb your sleep because he has not said “Hello” to you.
Expectations always lead to frustrations.
Expectations are the seeds, and frustration is the crop that sooner or later you will have to reap. It is your own doing.
So I asked the followers of Ramateertha, “What was shattered? If there was no ego there was nothing to be shattered. If you throw a stone into empty space, nothing will be shattered, only the stone will look silly - falling with a thud, no obstruction, no joy of destroying something, no excitement of shattering something; just falling with a thud on the ground like a fool.
“A man without an ego is like an empty house. You can throw stones from this side to that side, they will go across him without finding any obstruction. Nothing can be shattered.”
So I said, “Note this point, but this is not the whole story. Ramateertha left Varanasi and went to the Himalayas. He had a follower and a friend who was a king of Garhwal in the Himalayas, a small state. He went there and told his friend, the king of Garhwal, ‘I would like to learn Sanskrit, so please arrange for a scholar to teach me Sanskrit.’“