Chapter 7: First the Thirst
The heart is like mercury; it cannot be caught hold of except by those who have attained enlightenment, who have dissolved. Those whose egos completely disappear attain to enlightenment. The love that arises from the heart living in a state of awakening is eternal, without end. But love such as this happens only once in a while to a Rama, to a Sita. Society cannot be managed on the basis of this kind of love. If we try to make this love the basis, even more people will fall into trouble and misery.
So there exists a marriage arranged by society - experience, calculation and know-how are all used for this kind of marriage. Things are more lasting in such an arrangement. True, the great heavenly heights are never touched, but at least the feet stay planted firmly on the ground. There will be no great showers of bliss, but at least a tiny trickle of happiness and unhappiness continues. And of those who desire showers of bliss, ninety-nine percent get lost in the desert of misery. But those who are ready to come to terms with a little trickle of happiness and unhappiness never reach to the heights of bliss, nor do they get lost in the desert of misery. They somehow strike a compromise with life. Happiness and unhappiness become like the two wheels on which their cart of life moves. What we call life is this cart moving on the wheels of little happinesses and unhappinesses.
The arranged marriage will be lasting and stable, knowing neither great happiness nor great unhappiness. Neither it is born out of love, nor will it collapse through the disappearance of love. Because it is not created out of love, the question of love disappearing does not arise at all. It is a social institution, based on the experience of thousands of years, and this experience gives the heart no chance; the whole matter is decided by the intellect.
Marriage is a decision of the intellect.
Love is an entirely different matter. It has no relation whatsoever to the intellect; it is quite unconnected to thought. Just as meditation is thoughtlessness, so is love. And just as meditation cannot be managed by the intellect, so it is with love. In fact, meditation and love are two names of almost the same experience. When meditation happens through contact with another person we call it love; and when love happens in a person without any contact with anybody else we call it meditation.
Love and meditation are two sides of the same coin.
Meditation and love are names of the same door seen from two different places. Seen from the outside, the door is called love. Seen from the inside it is called meditation. It is just like a door labeled “Entrance” on one side and “Exit” on the other; the same door serves both purposes. So if you arrive at the door from the outside, the label is love; if you arrive from the inside, the label is meditation.