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OSHO Online Library   »   The Books   »   This, This, A Thousand Times This: The Very Essence of Zen
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Chapter 13: Five Doors toYour House

Suddenly, a gorgeous blonde enters the room wearing a scanty bikini, and one of the bells goes,

“Ding-a-ding! Ding-a ding!”

“Go stand in the showers, Brother Brian,” says the abbot.

The girl starts to slip out of her bikini.

“Ding-a-ding! Ding-a-ding!”

“Too bad, Brother Boris,” says the abbot, “go to the showers, too!”

Finally, the girl is naked and starts writhing and dancing in front of Brother Billy. The bell remains silent.

“Praise the Lord!” shouts the abbot. “Congratulations, Brother Billy. You have passed. Now go and join those weaker souls in the showers!”

“Ding-a-ding! Ding-a ding!”

One of the zebras in a traveling circus gets sick, and the vet suggests that he should be rested at a nearby farm until he gets well.

The zebra makes a tour of the farmyard and greets all the animals.

“I am a zebra,” he says, “who are you?”

“I am a chicken,” replies the chicken.

“And what do you do?” asks the zebra.

“I cluck a lot and lay eggs,” explains the chicken.

The zebra walks on and meets a cow.

“I am a zebra,” he announces, “who are you?”

“I am a cow,” replies the cow.

“And what do you do?” asks the zebra.

“I moo and make milk,” replies the cow.

Next, the zebra meets a bull.

“I am a zebra,” he says, “who are you?”

“I am a bull,” comes the reply.

“And what do you do?” asks the zebra.

“What do I do?” snorts the bull, “just take off those fancy pajamas and I will show you!”

Pope the Polack and Ronald Reagan die and go to heaven. They ask for an interview with God, and find him sitting in a comfortable armchair.

“What have you done that you deserve to be in heaven?” God asks the pope.

“Well,” replies Pope the Polack, “I kissed the ground at most of the major airports of the world; I fought the evil communists, and opposed birth control so strongly that Catholics went forth and multiplied.”

“Very good!” says God. “Sit on my left side.”

Then God turns to Ronald Reagan.

“And what have you done,” he asks, “to deserve to be in heaven?”

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