Chapter 5: From Nothing to Nothing
The second state is gyana mudra, the knowing gesture. You simply watch, you simply know, you don’t do anything. Things happen, you are just a watcher; you don’t become identified as a doer.
Then the third mudra is samaya mudra. Then by and by even the knower is not needed; there is nothing to know. First action disappears, then knowledge also disappears. Then there is pure now-ness; time just flows in its purity. All is: nothing has to be done and nothing has to be known. You are a simple being; time goes on flowing by the side, you are undisturbed, unperturbed. All desire to do or to know has disappeared.
There are only two kinds of desires: the lower kind is to do something, the higher kind is to know something. The lower kind needs the body to do, the higher kind needs only the mind to know - but both are desires. Both have gone, now you sit alone. Things move, time flows, everything goes on happening. You are neither a doer nor a knower.
And then the fourth gesture: the mahamudra, the great gesture. Even you are no more. Action dropped, knowledge dropped, then even time dropped.and then you also disappear. Then there is silence. This is what silence is. What you call silence is not silence. Your silence is just a faraway reflection, a very poor silence. Sometimes you feel a little relaxed and the mind is not spinning as fast as it does ordinarily; the mind is a little relaxed, you feel silence. That’s nothing.
Silence is when action has gone, knowledge has gone, time has disappeared.and you too. Finally you are gone. One day suddenly you find you are not: one day you suddenly find that everything has disappeared, nothing remains. In that nothingness - the great gesture - you are infinite.
With the first, karma mudra, there are thoughts - and naturally, with thoughts, past and future, because thoughts are either of the past or they are of the future. With thoughts, the anxiety, tension, anguish.
With the second, gyana mudra, memory dissolves into non-memory: no past, no future-only now. Mind asleep, not dead yet, can wake up again. So many times gyana mudra happens and is lost. That is the meaning of gaining meditation and losing it. In the second case mind is not destroyed, it simply goes to sleep. It has a little sleep, that’s all; it goes into sleep. Then again it comes back, sometimes with a vengeance; comes back with tremendous energy, of course - it has rested! So after each deep meditation you will find that the mind is spinning more, has got more energy now; it has been at rest and has become more active. In the second, gyana mudra, mind goes to sleep but has not disappeared yet - but you can have a little taste of no-mind for a moment. For a split second the ray enters, you are thrilled. And the taste creates trust; this is where trust arises.