Chapter 31: I Am an Adamant Optimist
The Hindu so-called saint, Tulsidas, is the most important Hindu saint in India; no other book is read as much as his. His book is the bible of the Hindus. He writes in his book “If you don’t beat her - physical, corporal beating - you will lose control of her. By beating her, you prove that you are man enough.”
Your manliness is proved by beating the woman; but if you beat the woman, the woman is also going to find a thousand and one ways to torture you. Whenever you want to make love to her, she will say she has a headache. There is no communication between the two of you. How can there be? You have enslaved her, and no slave can forgive the person who has destroyed his freedom. No woman can forgive the man who has taken away her freedom. But Hindus have been following their saint’s advice - and it is not new: the five-thousand-year-old Manusmriti, the moral code of the Hindus, says the same thing.
There is a book published by a psychoanalyst about the man-woman relationship. Its title is significant: The Intimate Enemy. That’s how men and women have lived up to now, as intimate enemies. And the children are learning, and they will repeat it - they don’t know any other way.
The family has to change into a commune. Five thousand people, ten thousand people living together, are economically better off than five thousand families living separately.
In our commune, just fifteen people were looking after the kitchen - for five thousand people. Otherwise, twenty-five hundred women would have been crushed and destroyed in their kitchens! And remember, not all women are good cooks! There is nothing in being a woman that makes you a good cook. In fact, all great cooks are men; in all the great hotels you will find that the great cooks are men, not women.
Every family cannot afford a great genius of a cook, but a commune can afford fifteen really inventive and creative cooks - men and women both. And we have experimented and found that it works so beautifully.
Because the children live together on their own campus, many other things happen. The parents don’t feel burdened. They have a certain freedom which children destroy - you have to wait for the children to go to sleep, and by that time you are also feeling sleepy. And children are very strange people; if you want them to go to sleep, then they won’t go. They become certain that there is going to be something happening, that’s why they are being forced to go to sleep.
And they cannot understand the logic, that when they want to remain awake, they are forced to go to sleep; and when, in the morning, they want to sleep, they are pulled out of the bed and forced to be awake. They can’t understand the logic of it. It seems so absurd.