Chapter 14: Follow Your Being
If you don’t want to do the group, tell me. But don’t bring in the mind.
I can’t tell the difference between me and my mind.
You can! Why did you start this group? You wanted to do it. Then the mind became afraid because it became aware, by and by, that things were going to be dangerous - so it told you not to do it.
There is a sannyasin here whose mind tells him every morning not to do the dynamic meditation. But he goes and he does it, and it is a beautiful experience because now he has become aware that he can put aside the mind. You can put aside the mind that feels fear, and then you regain your power and your mastery. Just try!
I feel that all my life I’ve been trying, making an effort, pushing myself hard in everything I did. But I can’t tell the difference between what is my mind and what is me.
Who is saying this - you or your mind? Right now close your eyes, and be honest.
The man sits for a few moments with eyes closed.
I can’t tell the difference.
(laughing) It is your mind! The effort was being done by you, because every effort for growth comes from the being, and all laziness comes from the mind.
So look at it again tomorrow morning and decide. If it is your mind, then put it aside and go to the group and finish it. And if you feel it is you who does not want to do the group, forget about the group. It is up to you to bring some clarity to it. And be sincere.
If it is you, you will feel very happy about not doing it, and if it is the mind, you will be unhappy. You look unhappy, that is why I am insisting on it - that it is the mind. You should have been very very happy if it was your being that wanted to drop out, because when you follow your being, happiness comes to you.
But you have to clarify this. On it much depends - your future growth. If you start listening to the mind your growth will stop, mm? Try, try hard to see what is what. Good.