Chapter 16: Will or Surrender?
Don’t go on thinking. Begin, start somewhere, to experiment. Then you will have a direct feeling of what thinking is and what witnessing is, and then you will come to know that you cannot do both simultaneously, just as you cannot run and sit simultaneously. If you run, then you cannot sit, then you are not sitting. If you are sitting, then you cannot run. But sitting is not a function of the legs. Running is a function of the legs; sitting is not a function of legs. Rather, sitting is a nonfunction of the legs. When the legs are functioning, then you are not sitting. Sitting is a nonfunction of the legs; running is the function.
The same is with the mind. Thinking is a function of the mind, witnessing a nonfunction of the mind. When the mind is not functioning you have the witnessing, then you have the awareness. That’s why I said you cannot do both with your mind. You cannot both sit and run with your legs. But that doesn’t mean that sitting is a function of your legs. It is not a function at all; it is a nonfunctioning of your legs.
You ask, “Is there anything like partial witnessing and total witnessing?” No, there is nothing like partial witnessing and total witnessing. Witnessing is total. It may be for a single moment and then it may go, but when it is there it is total. Can you sit partially or totally? What can we understand by sitting partially? Witnessing is a total thing. Really, in life, nothing is partial - in life. Only with mind is everything partial. Understand this: with mind, nothing is total and can never be total. When mind is not there everything is total, nothing can be partial. So mind is the faculty which brings partialness and fragmentariness in life.
For example, watch a child in anger. The child is yet raw, uncultured. Look at his anger: the anger is total, it is not partial. Nothing is suppressed, it is a full flowering. That’s why children in anger are so beautiful. Every totality has a beauty of its own.
When you are in anger, your anger is never total. The mind has come in - it is going to be partial. Something is bound to be suppressed, and that something suppressed will become a poison. Then your love also cannot be total, it is going to be partial. Neither can you hate nor can you love. Whatsoever you do will be partial because the mind is functioning.
A child can be angry this moment, and the second moment he can be in love. When he is in anger it is a total thing, and when he is in love it is again a total thing. Every moment is total. The mind is still undeveloped. Again, a sage is just like a child. There are many, many differences, but the childhood comes again - he is total again. But he cannot be in anger. The child is without a mind as far as this life is concerned, but past lives and many minds accumulated in the unconscious, they go on working. So a child appears total, but he cannot be really total. This life’s mind is still growing, but he has many, many minds hidden in the subconscious, in the unconscious, in the deeper realms of the mind.