Chapter 12: Who Am I?
More possibility is that your husband is rationalizing, that this is his way of putting you down. He uses philosophical jargon: rationalization. And, of course, you become afraid - you have done something wrong. I can’t think that you can do much of a rationalization; women don’t indulge in it. But it is better to understand, because to be with a husband who is a professor of philosophy it is better to understand what rationalization is. And now, next time, whatsoever your husband says, you simply say, “This is a rationalization,’ and watch what happens.
Just the other day I was reading about a psychiatrist who was mending his car, and his boy was playing with a little girl from the neighborhood on the balcony on the first story. And down below he was tinkering with his car.
Suddenly the boy pushed the girl from the balcony and she fell down on the ground. The father was, of course, angry. He looked up and before he could say anything, the boy asked, “Dad, can you tell me why I did it? You are supposed to be the psychoanalyst, psychiatrist - tell me why I did it.”
Next time your husband says anything, don’t be worried about it - just say, “This is a rationalization.” He is using a big word; a few people are obsessed with big words. But rationalization is a subtle process; people indulge in it - men more. I have rarely come across a woman who indulges in rationalization; except the lib women nobody indulges in rationalization. They are following all the way the footsteps of men.
But it is good to understand what it is, and if you indulge in it, it is better not to indulge in it. It is a camouflage. It is better to be authentic, true, rather than hiding yourself behind smoke screens.
Now, it will be good if Vinoba Bhave simply says, “I want to impose my will on this country,” that will be simple. “I am ready to die if my will is not accepted.” But that he will not say, “I want to impose my will on this country,” because then he will be exposed: “Who are you to impose your will? This is a democracy. You cannot impose your will. You have a single vote - a single vote equal to everybody else’s vote. Nobody’s vote is more valuable, so who are you?”
But this is how this goes on..
Morarji Desai wants to impose prohibition on the country. Who are you to impose such things? Then where is freedom and where is democracy? Yes, if you are against alcohol, teach, express yourself, argue, persuade.that’s what democracy means. Persuade people. If you are against cow slaughter, go around and persuade people not to eat cow meat. But threatening that you will commit suicide is very totalitarian, dictatorial, undemocratic. It is a crime against the people, against the law, against democracy.
But you can hide the fact in religious terminology, you can go on doing something with a mask. And people wear masks: rationalization is one of the ways of wearing masks.
Be true. Be authentic. There is no need to be untrue, because the more untrue you become, the farther and farther you will be from existence.