Chapter 32: Life Consists of Small Things
It is Maneesha’s question.
It is not a question at all. She has answered it herself, and beautifully. She has said exactly what I would have said. And that’s what I would like for each of you, by and by: to come to an understanding that when you ask a question, you can answer it exactly the way I will be answering it.
Trust is certainly a higher value than love. In trust, love is implied; but in love, trust is not implied. When you say, “I trust in you, Osho” it is understood that you love. But when you say you love, trust has nothing to do with it. In fact your love is very suspicious, very untrusting, very much afraid, always on guard, watching the person you love.
Lovers become almost detectives. They are spying on each other. Love is beautiful if it comes as a part of trust. And it always comes as a part of trust, because trust cannot be without love. But love can be without trust, and a love without trust is ugly; deep down it has all kinds of jealousies, suspicions, distrust.
It is also true that when you say, “I love you,” it is not a surrender, it is not a readiness to be dissolved. It is not a readiness to be taken to unknown and unknowable spaces. When you say, “I love you,” you stand equal, and there is a certain aggressive quality in it. That’s why from the very beginnings of humanity everywhere, and in every time, the woman has not taken the initiative to say “I love you.” She has waited for the man to say, “I love you” - because the heart of the woman feels that aggressiveness. But man has a harder heart; he does not feel that aggressiveness - in fact he enjoys it.
But when you say, “I trust you,” it is a deep surrender, an openness, a receptivity, a declaration to yourself and to the universe that, “Now if this man takes me even to hell, it is okay with me: I trust him. If it looks like hell to me, it must be a fault of my vision. He cannot take me to hell.”
In trust you will always find faults with yourself; in love you will always find faults with the one you are in love with. In trust you are always, without saying it, in a state of apology: “I am ignorant. I am sleepy, unconscious. There is a possibility of saying something wrong, doing something wrong, so be merciful towards me, have compassion on me.” Trust implies so much. It is such a treasure.
When you say, “I love you,” there is a subtle current of possessiveness. Without being said, it is understood, “Now you are my possession, nobody else should love you.”
In trust there is no question of possessing the person you trust. On the contrary, you are saying, “Please possess me. Destroy me as an ego. Help me to disappear and melt in you, so there is no resistance in going with you.”