Chapter 2: Dropping the Why
The first thing: disciplehood is a great decision. You can become a disciple only if you drop your decidophobia - because it is a great decision, it is a commitment. You cannot become a disciple if you are afraid of taking, making decisions. This is the greatest decision in one’s life - to trust somebody else as the master, to trust somebody else and stake your whole life. It is a gamble. Much courage is needed. Too many people come to me; they say they would like to become sannyasins, but they are afraid. The decision is too much, and a thousand and one things have to be considered before they take the decision.
Decidophobia means you are afraid of deciding anything. Disciplehood is a decision. If you are born a Hindu, that is not disciplehood. If you are a born Hindu and a shankaracharya comes to your town and you go and pay your respects, that is not disciplehood. You never decided in the first place to be a Hindu. This is coincidence, your Hinduism is just an accident. Somebody else is a Christian, and the pope comes and he goes to pay his respects - this is not disciplehood. He has never decided to be a Catholic or a Christian.
In fact, you remain a Hindu or a Christian because you cannot decide to get out of them. It is not a decision, it is a lack of decision. Because you are afraid of deciding, you continue whatsoever you have got from tradition, heritage, from your father and mother. Just think: people deciding their religion by their blood - is there any greater stupidity possible? Religion being decided by your blood? Then take the Mohammedan’s blood and the Hindu’s and the Christian’s blood, and go to the expert and ask him which is the Hindu’s blood and which is the Mohammedan’s blood. No expert can show you; blood is simply blood. There are differences in blood, but those differences are not religious.
Deciding your religion just by birth, it is as if you are deciding your future by the I Ching, or going to an astrologer, deciding your future by the stars, or Tarot cards. These are not decisions, these are tricks how not to decide. Somebody else decides for you. The book of I Ching was written five thousand years back - somebody, nobody knows his name now, is deciding for you. You ask so-long-dead people to decide your future. You ask the past to decide your future. But it is helpful in a way, because you are no longer needed to decide. If you are a Hindu, just by your birth.you have not decided it. Your disciplehood is not disciplehood, it is decidophobia.
Just look: in small things you think so much, and in great things you don’t think at all. If you go to the market to purchase clothes, you decide - ordinary things, trivia, you decide. It is as if there is a rule that if you drive your car slowly then drive carefully, but if you are going beyond fifty miles per hour then close your eyes. In small things - purchasing clothes or toothpaste or soap - you decide. Religion, God, meditation, prayer, you leave to somebody else to decide.