Chapter 8: Trust Is Unaddressed
Trust simply means that you have understood the neurosis of doubt, that you have understood the misery of doubt, that you have understood the hell that doubt creates. You have known doubt and by knowing it you have dropped it. When doubt disappears, there is trust. It is something of a transformation within you, your attitude, approach. Trust knows no contradiction.
The questioner asks, “It is the contradiction between trusting myself and trusting you.” If that is the contradiction, then trust yourself. If you can trust yourself nothing else is needed. Then you are deeply rooted in your trust, and when a tree is deeply rooted in the earth, it goes on spreading its branches into the unknown sky. When it is rooted in the earth, it can trust the sky. When the tree is not rooted in the earth, then it cannot trust the sky; then it is always afraid: afraid of the storm, afraid of the rains, afraid of the sun, afraid of the wind, afraid of everything. The fear is coming from the roots. The tree knows that she is not rooted perfectly. Any slight accident, and she will be gone. She is already gone. Such a life, unrooted, uncentered, is not a life at all. It is just a slow, long suicide. So if you trust yourself, forget all about me. There is no need even to raise the question. But you know and I know that you don’t trust yourself.
The mind is creating a very cunning device. The mind is saying, “Don’t trust anybody, trust yourself”; and you cannot trust yourself. That’s why you are here. Otherwise why would you be here? One who trusts himself need not go anywhere, need not go to any master, need not go to learn anywhere. Life is coming to you in millions of ways; there is no need to go anywhere.
Wherever you are truth will happen, but you don’t trust yourself. And when I say, “Trust me,” that is only a device to help you trust. You cannot trust yourself? - okay; trust me. Maybe trusting me will give you a taste of trust; then you can trust yourself.
The master is nothing but a long way to come to yourself, because you cannot come through the shortest way. You have to follow a little longer route. But via the master, you come to yourself. If you are stuck with me then I am your enemy, then I have not been of any help to you. Then I don’t love you, then I don’t have any compassion for you. If I have any compassion, then by and by, I will turn you back towards yourself. That’s what I go on saying: “If you meet a buddha on the way, kill him!” If you start clinging to me, drop me immediately. Kill me, forget all about me. But your mind will say, “When there is so much fear of clinging, it is better never to start the journey.” Then you remain in self distrust. I’m simply giving you an opportunity to have a taste of trust.