Chapter 9: Absolute Aloneness, Absolute Liberation
The nyagrodh tree, a big tree. The father asks for a fruit; Svetketu brings it. Fruit is vaikhari - the thing has flowered, fruition has happened. Fruit is the most peripheral thing, absolutely manifested. The father says, “Break it.” Svetketu breaks it - millions of seeds. The father says, “Choose one seed. Break it also.” He breaks that seed also. Now there is nothing in hand. Now inside the seed there is nothing. Uddalak says, “Out of this nothingness comes the seed. Out of the seed comes the tree. Out of the tree comes the fruit. But the basic is nothingness, the silence, the space, the formless, the unmanifest, the beyond, the transcendental.”
At the point of vaikhari, you are very much confused because you are farthest from your being. If you move deeper into your being, when you come closer to madhyama, the third point, you will be a little closer to your being. That’s why it is called the middle, the bridge. That’s how a meditator enters into his being. That’s how mantra is used..
When you use a mantra and you repeat rhythmically “aum, aum, aum.” first it is to be repeated loudly: vaikhari. Then you have to close your lips and you have to repeat it inside - “aum, aum, aum.” - nothing comes out: madhyama. Then you have to drop even repeating inside. It repeats itself. You get in such tune with it that you drop the repeating and it goes on, by its own accord - “aum, aum, aum..” Now you have become a listener rather than repeating it. You can listen and watch and see: it has become pashyanti. Pashyanti means looking back to the source; now your eyes are turned towards the source. Then by and by that aum also disappears into the formless. Suddenly there is emptiness and nothing else. You don’t hear “aum, aum, aum.”; you don’t hear anything. Neither is there anything heard nor the hearer. Everything has disappeared.
“Tatvamasi, Svetketu,” Uddalak said to his son. “That art thou” - that nothingness, when the chanter has disappeared and the chanting.
Now if you are attached to things too much, you will remain at the point of vaikhari. If you are attached to your body too much, you will remain at the point of madhyama. If you are attached to your mind too much, you will remain at the point of pashyanti. And if you are not attached at all, suddenly you dissolve into para - the transcendental, the beyond. That’s liberation.
Being liberated means coming back home. We have gone far away. Just see: Out of nothingness comes the seed, then out of the seed the sprout, then a big tree, then fruits and flowers. How far things have gone. But the fruit falls back into the earth; the circle is complete. Silence is the beginning, silence is the end. Out of pure space we come and into pure space we go. If the circle is not complete, then you will have a being stuck at some point where you have become almost frozen, and you cannot move and you have lost the dynamism, the energy, the life.