Chapter 14: The Tug of War
Only one thing is good about it: she will never know what she has missed. How can you know? Many of you go on missing, but you will never know what you are missing. I only feel sad for you, I only feel great compassion when I see somebody missing. He may not even be aware that he is missing. He may have missed by just a few inches - home was very close. But he will never become aware, he will never be able to look back. How can he?
Now she has left. I could not say it directly to her, I had to be indirect. She could not understand my indirectness and she found a rationalization - that now Osho has said.. What I said was simply to help you so that you don’t become burdened with guilt. I have not said to start doing whatsoever you want to do; I have not said to go against my advice. I simply said that if you sometimes feel like going and it is impossible for you to follow my advice.. I am not saying that by not following my advice you will gain something, I am saying you will miss something - but there is no need to feel guilty. Missing is enough punishment. Why make it more with guilt?
Now she has missed, that is enough punishment. And she will never become aware of it, she will remain oblivious. She will become aware only one day when she comes to an understanding, to a window that opens the door - then she may be able to see that this window was very close, but that time she missed. Right now she will never be able to see. Only when she finds that that moment of growth has happened will she be able to see.
It is good that she will not feel guilty; but what about that which she has missed? I made that statement particularly for her, but there are also other fools who realized it as if it is a blessing. One dropped from the Enlightenment Group. “Now there is no need. Osho has said do it - but now there is no need. He has said you have to go on your own.”
And I will not be surprised if somebody even drops sannyas. Great fools are everywhere always. You go on misunderstanding, misinterpreting. Your ego is there; it is just watching. This French sannyasin has been listening to me for almost one month - this is the only thing that she has followed.
And you ask me, “I want to become enlightened. Why don’t you help me?” What else am I doing here? You don’t receive the help, that is true, but that is your responsibility. I can give, but if you refuse it that is your responsibility. I go on giving, I give unconditionally - I don’t make any conditions for you.
This is the first time in the whole history of human consciousness that sannyas is being given unconditionally. I don’t ask whether you are worthy or not. I am in such a hurry to give! I have so much to share. I don’t care a bit whether you are worthy to receive it or not. I am simply giving it to you because I have so much and I have to unburden myself. The cloud is so full that it wants to rain; it does not matter whether it is a desert, or it is wasteland, or it is fertile soil - it does not matter. The flower has bloomed and the fragrance is heavy on its heart, it has to be released. Whether somebody will appreciate it or not does not matter. I am giving sannyas to you without any conditions.