Chapter 18: The Alphabet of Rejoicing
What do you see in my eyes now, after you hit my head so hard? Oh , the blessing of your sword has left only one wound, that even the silence blossomed out of this meditation hasn’t healed: Have I really been disrespectful in my unawareness? For I will rather cut my tongue before saying anything against you, and I will kill myself with joy rather than be unloving to you.
Sarjano, I know your heart. I know your love. I know your deep gratitude and respect - but it is human, once in a while to slip from the path. And it happens from a necessary psychological principle: you start taking me for granted. This is one of the ancientmost diseases of the mind. Once you start taking me for granted, then you are bound to behave unconsciously.
Never take me for granted.
I am simply alive just for you.
My work is finished and my boat has been waiting for long to take me to the other shore, but your love and the fear that without me, you may be lost.and you are coming so close, that if I can manage to wait a little longer on this shore, I can give all of my people what I have received from existence. But the moment you take me for granted, immediately you forget, become unconscious, create distance.
I don’t want to hit anybody, but except hitting you I cannot wake you up when you have fallen asleep. Consciously, whatever you say is absolutely right, that you would rather cut your tongue than say a word against me, that you would rather die than offend me. These are not just poetic assertions. I understand you perfectly, but you still have the unconscious mind and that unconscious mind manages to sabotage whatever you are gaining in your consciousness.
In mythological terms, it is a conflict between good and evil. In a more contemporary psychological way, it is the conflict between the conscious and the unconscious. The unconscious is afraid - and its fear is real. If your whole being becomes conscious, it will be the death of the unconsciousness in you, and the death of mortality in you, and the opening of eternal life.
Your unconscious mind does not want to commit suicide. It will give you every resistance; hence once in a while it will catch you unawares, and something will come out of you that you had never meant. But if I let it go without hitting you, then your unconscious will be gaining more and more power over your conscious. Hitting you is simply a loving way to put the unconscious back and to help your consciousness to be stronger, more powerful, more capable to understand what comes from your unconscious and what comes from your conscious.
The unconscious is not your friend.
The unconscious is all the past centuries, it is carrying the whole evolution of man. It is barbarous, it is animal. Only a small part of your being has become conscious, but that small being can manage to dispel the whole unconsciousness if you don’t become a victim of it again and again.