Chapter 10: Just Enjoying Yourself
When people come to me and they ask for silence, I look at them and I feel much, because it is almost impossible: silence can exist only when all the contradictions have been dropped. It needs arduous effort, very penetrating intelligence, understanding, maturity. Nothing is there, and you think that just by repeating a mantra you will become silent? If it were so easy, then everybody would have become silent. You think just by repeating “Ram, Ram,” you will become silent? Riding on millions of horses, repeating the mantra, you will become silent? That mantra will be still one more horse, that’s all; more confusion will come out of it. If one more horse is added, you will be more confused through it.
Look at the so-called religious man: he is more confused than the worldly because new horses have been added. The man who lives in the market, the world of the market, is less confused because he may have many horses, but at least they all belong to this world; at least one thing is the same, similar, they all belong to this world. And this religious man, he has so many horses: those which belong to this world and some new horses he has added which don’t belong to this world. He has created a greater rift: the other world, God, the kingdom of God, and he continues to move in this world. He becomes more confused, more conflict arises in his being. He is rent apart, he is not together; every fragment is falling apart, all his togetherness is gone. This is what neurosis is.
The way you are brought up is wrong, but nothing can be done now because you have already been brought up, you cannot move back. So you have to understand it and drop it through understanding. If you drop it because I say so, then you will add more horses. If you drop it through understanding - because you understand the whole thing and hence it is dropped - then no more horses will be added. On the contrary, old horses will be released to their freedom, so they can move and reach their goals.and you can move and reach your own goal.
For not only are you in difficulty, your horses are also in very great difficulty because of you; they cannot reach anywhere either. Have pity on yourself and on your horses, both. But this should be done through understanding; your understanding, not my teaching or Jesus’ or Buddha’s. They can show the path, but if you follow without understanding you will never reach the goal.
Now try to understand:
It is impossible for a man to mount two horses and stretch two bows; and it is impossible for a servant to serve two masters, otherwise he will honor the one and offend the other.
Why is it impossible, and what is impossibility? An impossibility is not something which is very difficult, no: howsoever difficult a thing may be it is not impossible, you can achieve it. By impossibility is meant something which cannot be achieved whatsoever you do; there is no way, no possibility to do it. When Jesus says impossible he means impossible, he doesn’t mean very difficult; and you are trying to do the impossible. What will happen? It cannot be done, but you will be undone through it. It cannot be done, but what will happen to you who have been making an effort to do the impossible? You will fall apart. It is not possible to do it, but by doing it, you are undoing your own life. This will happen, it has happened.