Chapter 10: Doubt Is a Sword
A lover is never a calculator; he is always risking. He is not a good businessman. He lives in a totally different world; he sees things in a different perspective. For him flowers are far more important than all your scientific gadgets, stars are far more important than all your political ideologies, rivers and mountains are far more significant than all your churches and temples.
The vested interests are against the heart; hence, they have put it aside. They have created a shortcut: your sexual energy moves directly to the head without passing through the heart. That’s why your psychological age remains nearabout twelve, because that is the time when sexual maturity starts happening - twelve, thirteen, fourteen. That is when you become sexually mature and that is where the society stops you, because once the energy is ready to move, it starts moving it towards the head. That is the most important time in the life of a man, between twelve and fourteen. That is the time when either you move through the heart or you move through a no-heart directly to the head. And every society takes care that before the energy starts working in the heart - stop it, close that door completely, forever.
Psychologists have not been able to explain why the psychological age should be nearabout twelve - this is the reason. They don’t yet have any explanation for it, but this is the reason: because your sexual energy is the only energy you have got, and the moment it becomes ripe there is danger - because it can become love. If allowed a natural course it is bound to become love; it will move through the heart. And, in fact, once it moves through the heart, once the heart opens up, the head can never be the master; it will remain a slave because a higher value has entered in your being. Now logic can never be supreme, it will always be secondary. And it is good that logic should be a servant to love; then it is beautiful. But love is a dangerous energy.
All the social institutions are afraid of love because the whole society depends on unloving institutions. Our society is rooted in marriage; marriage is an unloving institution. Marriage has been invented against love. That is why parents never like it that their daughter or their son fall in love. They would like to choose the right wife, the right husband, for their sons and daughters. They would like to choose, and how can they choose? - they will choose through the head. They will say to the children, “You don’t know. You have not experienced life - we have experienced life, so we know what is right and what is wrong.” For centuries, all over the world, marriage has been arranged by parents at a very early stage so the child was not even aware of it, what is happening.
My mother got married when she was seven; she was not aware of what was happening. My father must have been nearabout ten; he was not aware of what was really happening. He enjoyed the whole thing because he was riding on a horse and so many people were following him - so of course he enjoyed it!