Chapter 13: The Immediate Is the Ultimate
There is no theory as such in it, no philosophy at all. But listening to me, and that too only for a short period, you will get the idea that there is a theory. To know that there is no theory at all you have to be here for a longer period, because then only will you be able to see my contradictions.
A theoretician is very consistent, and you cannot find any man in the whole world who is more inconsistent than me, so I cannot be a theoretician. It is not logic that is happening here but a love-play.
As far as I have known, existence is understood not by theories, ideologies, but by a wondering heart, by the capacity to feel awe, an innocent heart - not a very clever head - a childlike quality. It is a very delicate phenomenon, and it is very subjective and inner. You will never be able to see it in others unless you have found it first in yourself.
Hence, I say, Rami, first become a sannyasin - and stay here a little longer to have a right perspective of what is happening. I can see from your question that you have not understood at all.
You say: “The theory is nice, but from the dozens of sannyasins with whom I have spoken, nobody could say, ‘I have found the way’.”
Nobody can say, not even I, because there is no way, we are not going anywhere. We are just being here. The way exists in the mind, the mind always thinks in terms of means and ends, ways and goals. The mind is always arrowed toward some target. The mind is always sacrificing the present for the future. The goal is bound to be in the future, the goal cannot be in the present. In the present is the way. Today is the way, tomorrow is the goal. But I say, today, this very moment is all. Call it the way, call it the goal, but it is all.
And there is no need to divide existence into means and ends, ways and goals. That division is part of the duality of the mind - and that duality is the cause of all misery.
Everybody is ambitious for a goal. The goal may be worldly, it may be otherworldly, but the goal is always there. And whenever there is goal you are bound to remain tense, because you have not yet achieved it. You are bound to remain in anguish, a deep trembling - whether you are going to make it or not, whether you will be able to live to achieve the goal, whether you will be strong enough to compete for it, to struggle for it.. And meanwhile life goes on slipping out of your fingers like water.
And the goal always remains like the horizon: you can see it just there - maybe only a few miles away - and you can always hope that just a little more effort and you will reach. But nobody has ever reached the horizon because it exists not! It is an illusion, an appearance only, not a reality, an optical illusion. So when you move toward the horizon, the horizon goes on moving away from you. And the distance between you and the horizon always remains the same, exactly the same, absolutely the same. Wherever you are the goal is always there somewhere ahead of you. It keeps you hoping, but it destroys your life.