Chapter 8: The Fear of Happiness
Where could he go? He had no home. The people from his home would not accept him, because once you become a monk and you live in a monastery for twelve years, coming back home would be falling, would not be respectable. The whole town would laugh at him, that he has failed, and his family would feel bad. Better not to go to them.
Then where could he go? He was just standing in the town, an unknown city, not knowing where to go, what to do. A woman looked from the window. The monk was standing there. He was a beautiful man. The woman called him. Not knowing who she is.. And even if he had known, now there was no problem.
She was a prostitute. She called him, and he lived with the prostitute.
The prostitute fell in love with him. She danced and she played music. And she was a great singer, and a great musician, and a great dancer, and he forgot everything that he has learned for twelve years with his master - the Zen koan and everything. He completely forgot - as if everything had been erased, as if he had never been to the monastery.
And he was making love that night to the woman - I have never come across a beautiful story like this - and when he came to the climax, suddenly he heard one hand clapping. .Because in deep love there comes a moment where two become one, when the two energies meet - yin and yang, man and woman - and the man disappears, and the woman disappears. There is no yin and no yang: a circle, a non-duality.
Suddenly, the koan was solved! He heard the sound of one hand clapping. It is said he jumped out of bed, jumped out of the window.
The woman could not believe it. “What are you doing? Have you gone mad? “
He said, “Let me go to my master first. It has happened!”
He went to the master and, wonder of wonders, he was waiting outside the temple for the disciple. He said, “So it has happened? This is no time to come and see me. Two o’clock - in the middle of the night!”
The master was waiting for him. Before it happens to the disciple, the master knows. If you are tuned with the master, if you have really surrendered to the master, it will also happen to your master exactly when it happens to you. The master lives many times, many satoris, through his disciples. His own satori is complete: he has arrived, but many times through his disciples.. Whenever a disciple arrives, he arrives again through him.again, the same dance.
Life is God, love is God. Remember this much, and don’t be worried about knowledge.
“Will I know when I am ready to face you?” You will face me. You will jump out of the bed, you will jump out of the window and you will rush. And you will not know what is happening, because that happening is greater than you - how can you know it? It is vaster than you, how can you comprehend it? You are just a drop in it; it is oceanic. But later on, when everything is settled again and you are at home with this ecstasy, with this satori, samadhi, then the mind comes back, starts recognizing, starts thinking.