Chapter 12: Doubt: The Methodology of the Seeker
And if you cannot understand my words, forget forever the idea that you will be able to understand my silence. Even while I am speaking, it is there. I am not an orator, I am not a speaker. That’s why, speaking a word, just in the middle of the sentence I will stop, will give a gap; in that gap I am trying to reach you through silence.
Don’t just listen to my words, listen also to the gaps. And any orator will think that I am strange; this is not the way to speak. But I am not interested in speaking, I am trying to contact you in thousands of ways.
My talk is full of silence. If you sort it out, in two hours you will certainly find for half an hour I have been silent. And it is a far deeper silence, because the word makes you listen to me, and then comes the silent period. In that silent period you are waiting for me to complete the sentence.
And this cannot be done - I never do a thing - it is a happening. I cannot speak in another way, because my purpose will be fulfilled only by words followed by wordlessness.
Anam, I love you as I love everybody. Just think of it - I go on throwing flowers on you, and you go on throwing mud on me? My own people saying to me that my talk is boring?
My talk is so full of silence. Listen to both, and it is easier. After a big storm there is a deep silence following it. This is the law of nature: day follows night, life is followed by death, word follows wordlessness. On both sides.. Then it is not a discourse, not oratory; it is a way of reaching you, touching you at the very innermost center of your being.
But if you are still bored, then just get up and get out, and get lost.
You say a skeptic cannot be a disciple, and on the other hand, that you never want us to stop doubting. Please explain the difference between skepticism and doubt.
There is a great difference between doubt and skepticism. Not only is there a difference, they are diametrically opposite to each other.
Skepticism is already a religion, a belief, a conclusion; it is a negative type of conclusion. The skeptic has no philosophy of his own to contribute; all he does is argue against anybody else’s ideology. But don’t ask about his ideology, he has none. He has become a big no, he has become negativity. He does not believe in anything - but this is also a belief.
For example, he does not believe in God. We call him an unbeliever, but it is not right to say that he does not believe in God; he believes that there is no God. It is a belief. Because it is negative you are confused. The theist believes in God; the skeptic does not believe in God, but he is not a seeker, he is not creative, he is not positive. He is not searching for the truth.