Chapter 7: Zen Is Love
Anando, when you love a person, you don’t harass him by saying “I love you” again and again; otherwise, he will kill you. There is a limit to how much you can listen to “I love you.” One gets fed up.
Just try it on any lover and see how long the love remains. The boyfriend or the girlfriend will disappear, because you can eat sweets but there is a limit, otherwise sickness will follow.
Zen never mentions love. My own understanding is that the man of Zen simply loves as he breathes. It is not something special, there is no need to mention it. Don’t you feel my love although I never say it? Do you want me to say it to you again and again?
Zen does not say it, that is a great indication that it understands. Love should not be said, but shown in every gesture - through your eyes, through your hands, through your silence. It should radiate around you. It is the same with compassion. It is not mentioned either.
Zen is not born in America, where there are great thinkers who can be great only in America, like Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill..
Dale Carnegie’s books have been best-sellers in America, second only to The Holy Bible. He used to run classes and schools where people were taught that whether you love or not does not matter. What matters is the word, the expression. Who can tell about the inside? Before going out of the house, kiss your wife and say, “I love you, sweetheart. I will miss you so much.”
You may have other thoughts inside, absolutely contrary to this: “Now is the time to enjoy.” Or you may be thinking of your girlfriend! But that is all inside - your wife is not a mind reader. So just say it, and it does not cost anything to kiss her, at least three times a day. When you come back from the office, again kiss your wife and say to her, “I love you, darling.” And again before going to bed; don’t forget. These idiots like Dale Carnegie are thought to be great philosophers who are helping people in their relationships.
Real love has no words to express itself. Real love is a presence, you can feel it. It surrounds you like wind, it rains over you like rain. A roseflower does not say, “How beautiful I am.” And if roseflowers start studying Dale Carnegie and start saying to you, “Where are you going, darling? I love you so much. And I’m so beautiful,” you will have to say, “Shut up! Just be a flower - don’t bother me!” - what else can you do?
Your question is very accurate. Zen is love, and Zen is compassion, but there is no need to make a manifesto, a declaration of it. In utter silence - the transmission of the lamp.