Just think – you are sleeping and few misfits come and start doing dynamic meditation in your room. They are doing their thing; they are not telling you to do the dynamic meditation. And by the time they have left, other misfits come and start playing on their musical instruments. Nobody is bothering you; you can go on sleeping or whatever you want to do! So this line has to be remembered….
Otherwise there is no interference at all. Work I have dropped completely, unless you want to do it, unless it is your thing. In the commune, work was absolutely necessary to survive. Here, you come whenever you can manage financially, for as long as you can manage to live here, but there is no question of any work being imposed on you. You can choose if you want to do something or you simply want to rest, swim, do a few groups, meditate – or not to do any group, not to do any meditation, just to be.
You are saying, “I strongly develop symptoms of misfit.” Again you are wrong: Leeladhar, you are a born misfit. It is not something that you are developing. I know you perfectly well.
It was I who was forcing you to remain in the hospital unit in the commune, in spite of yourself. Because I wanted you to remain in the unit, you remained – but you are a misfit.
The misfit has to accept one thing: that he will not be respected by the ordinary society. He will not get recommendations and honors and awards for being a misfit. I am certainly thinking to create an award, a world award each year, to be given to the greatest misfit in the world. And Leeladhar, your name is the first on my list.
But the discomfort is not coming from the outside, because outside I don’t see that you are expected to do anything. You are feeling uncomfortable as an inner tension; you don’t want to be a misfit, and you are. You have not accepted your misfitness with total love and joy.
There is nothing wrong in it; the society needs a few misfit people. They are the people who carry the torch of freedom and consciousness from generation to generation.
Do you think Gautam Buddha was not a misfit? Or Mahavira was not a misfit? The son of a king goes naked – his father was ashamed, his family was ashamed. They were willing – “You can renounce the world…but what is the need to go naked?” But Mahavira never felt uncomfortable; he accepted himself as he was.
The misfitness does not come alone; it will bring disrespect from people. You have to accept it.
The society is made by the people who are square, absolutely fit people. Any misfit is a disturbance. That society creates in every child the idea: never be a misfit, otherwise you will be dishonored, disrespected, rejected. And those ideas are still in your mind. Misfitness is your nature, and the discomfort is arising because the ideas that society gives to everybody, it has given to you too. You are not together; there is a split. Deep down you don’t want to be a misfit.