Professor S.S. Roy, with whom I fought the most, was one of the most intelligent people I have come across, and it was a joy to argue with him. Our arguments were never finished in the class, so I had to follow him to his home. By and by, his wife also became involved. And S.S.Roy said to his wife, “This is strange, you always seem to be on his side. He is enough! If you want to support somebody, support me! He will kill the arguments of both of us.”
His wife said, “But he’s so true and so sincere – not interested in defeating you. You are interested in defeating him. I have been watching the scene continuously. He is trying to figure out what is the truth, and you are trying somehow to prove that your argument is right. I am going to be on his side. And if you have guts. you should also be on his side.”
S.S.Roy told me later on, “This is the first time my wife has been so strong. It must be your doing. She has adored me always, she has believed me to be one of the most intelligent people in the world. You destroyed everything. Now she thinks you are far better.”
I asked S.S.Roy, “What do you think?”
He said, “My wife is right.”
He is still alive. Anybody who is my sannyasin is received in his home in Allahabad with the same respect that he would give to me, with the same love. One of my sannyasins who lived in Allahabad said, “It is strange. He is a retired head of the department of philosophy of Allahabad University” – in India, Allahabad University has the best philosophical department – “and he is a dignified old man. But whenever I go to him, he simply asks, ‘Have you received any new book, new magazine? Just say something to me, what is he doing now?’”
He is one of those rare people who can respect somebody who is not in any way equal to him. I was just a student; he was the head of the department and the dean of the faculty of arts – one of the most dignified persons in the university. He had every chance to become the vice-chancellor, he just did not want to become the vice-chancellor – for the simple reason, he said, “It is enough. I have always wanted to retire and relax and do something that one of my students has been continuously hammering on my head: meditate. Now I am old and I don’t want to waste time in being the vice-chancellor.”
Retired, he is doing my meditations. And once in a while somebody will come and tell me, “He has a picture of you in his room where he meditates. His wife thinks now he has gone crazy – doing dynamic meditation in his old age.”
Revolution – reaction – and rebellion have a totally different flavor. Reaction is ugly. You simply react because you don’t want anybody to have the upper hand. But one day when you find you can have the upper hand without struggle, you start compromising; that’s why those people could get you in the end. It was your basic misunderstanding. Your reaction, your ego, helped you to fall into the trap.
I have never reacted to anything, I have rebelled against everything, and on the path of rebellion there is no compromise. Compromise is something Jewish! It is something that happens in the marketplace, in politics. It does not happen in the search for truth.