This happens very rarely. It is always easy to find fault with the disciple, and if the disciple is at fault, then certainly the master, the so-called master, is at ease. A real disciple is a danger to the pseudo master, because with a real disciple the master’s pseudoness is exposed sooner or later. It is because of the pseudo disciples that pseudo masters live. And there are so many pseudo seekers, they are seeking just out of curiosity; it is not a passionate quest, it is lukewarm, intellectual, it is not existential. It is very rare to find a disciple like Buddha, because if you find a disciple like Buddha, sooner or later, either you will be proved right through his transformation, or you will be proved pseudo. But you cannot blame him, because he will put his total energies into the effort.
Buddha tried every possible way. He went to all the known and not-so-known teachers who were alive in the country, and from everywhere he came back empty-handed. Finally he decided, “There is something wrong in asking others, there is something basically wrong in going behind others, following others. It is better, it is time, that I should dive deep within myself, that I should seek and search alone.” And that’s how meditation was born.
Buddha dropped all extrovert efforts, became totally introverted, his whole energy turning in. He started tuning himself to his innermost core. God cannot be found outside you, because there is no God who can ever be outside you. Godliness is the ultimate fragrance of your consciousness. When your consciousness opens like a lotus, the fragrance that is released is God – better to call it godliness.
God is not a noun but a verb. Let this sink deeply into your heart: that God is not a noun but a verb. In fact, the whole existence is a verb. Change all your nouns into verbs and you will be on the right track, because everything is alive and flowing – how can you call it a noun? A noun gives a fixed idea. A noun is always dead and a verb is always alive.
And God is alive. He is alive in you, he is alive in me, he is alive in the birds. Wherever life is, godliness is; godliness is synonymous with life.
Vainly I sought the builder of my house through countless lives. It was a misunderstanding and, unfortunately, a misunderstanding which still persists. Rather than searching for their own selves, people go on searching for God. They will not find God, and meanwhile they are missing the opportunity of finding themselves.
The very word God has created trouble. Start using godliness, divineness, love. Drop that God! The word God looks like a dead rock: no flow, no movement, no growth. Let your godliness become a river.
Remember Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha: he learned the deepest realms of meditation by living on the shore of a river, seeing the river in different moods, in different seasons. In the summer it was so thin, like a silver line, and in the rains it was so overflowing. And sometimes it was so silent and so musical. And sometimes it looked so angry, in a rage. Sometimes it was so compassionate, and sometimes it was so cruel. Just sitting on the bank of the river, slowly, slowly he became aware of the great life of the river, its emotions, its moods.