Now, the question: “Sometimes at your lectures I can’t keep my eyes open….” Don’t try to keep them open. If you are falling in a deep rhythm allow it, because when you are listening to me, if you try to concentrate, you will remain in the first state, the beta, because the mind has to function. Don’t be bothered. What I am saying is not so important as to realize that which is going to happen to you. In fact whatsoever I am saying is nothing but to prepare you to fall deeper into your inner states of mind. So if you miss something, don’t bother – you can listen to the tape later on. And even if you don’t listen it doesn’t matter.
If the eyes are closing, allow them. The only thing to remember is: be alert. Allow the eyes to close…. In fact, become more alert – because the deeper you go in the mind, more alertness will be needed. You are diving deep in consciousness. You can fall asleep: then you have missed the lecture and you have missed the inner state also. Then it has been futile to be here.
“Sometimes at your lectures I can’t keep my eyes open….” No need. Close the eyes. Just remain alert inside – become more alert. “…and keep falling somewhere and coming back with a jerk.” That somewhere is the third state, the theta. If you fall to the second, alpha, you will know where you had gone and there will be no jerk. Smoothly one can move from the first to the second, from the beta to the alpha, very smoothly, because the difference is only of activity and passivity – you remain alert.
But when you move from the second to the third, then the difference is very deep. Now you are moving, ordinarily, from awakeness to sleepiness. Then if you come back you will come with a jerk, and consciousness is lost – that’s why you don’t know where you have been.
“There is no memory of where I have been.” If you had just simply fallen asleep you would have the memory. If you were dreaming, you would have the memory of the dream. If you were non-dreaming, you would have the memory that you fell asleep and there was no dream. Either, positively, you will remember a dream or, negatively, you will remember there was no dream and the sleep was deep; but you will remember if it is a sleep.
That’s how in the morning you remember that in the night there were so many dreams, or on some day you say, “I slept very deeply; there were no dreams.” These are both memories – one positive, one negative. If dream happens there will be a positive memory – something was happening, certain activity going on. If there is no dream you will have just a peaceful remembrance of nothing, that nothing happened. But this you will remember: that nothing happened and no dream crossed my mind and sleep was really deep, very deep, not a single ripple. But you will remember and you will say, “I was very blissful.”