You cannot become one in love. You can only have an illusion of becoming one. And that is the great desire – how to be one, how to be one with the whole, how to fall in rapport with reality, how to disappear utterly. Because if you are, there is misery; if you are, there is anguish; if you are, there is anxiety. The very ego creates the problem. When you melt and disappear, when you become one, there is nobody left behind. You are just a wave in this eternal ocean of existence. You don’t have a center of your own; the center of the whole has become your center. Then anxiety disappears, then anguish disappears, then the potential has become actual. This is what is called enlightenment, this is what is called nirvana or God-realization.
Love is moving in the same direction, but it can only promise, it cannot fulfill. It cannot deliver the goods – hence the sadness. You feel you are coming very close to the point where you can disappear and yet you don’t disappear. Again you start falling away from your beloved. Again and again you will come close, and again and again you will fall back into your aloneness. But you will never become one. And unless you become one, ecstasy is not possible.
A very famous existentialist, Nikolai Berdyaev, has written a few very pertinent things, very relevant to the question. He says: “I have always been afraid of happy, joyful experiences for they have always brought me the most vivid memories of the agony of life.”
Certainly it is so. That’s why the really miserable people don’t rebel. The proletarians have never rebelled. Marx comes from a middle-class family, so does Mao, so does Lenin, so does Engels. All the revolutions and all the revolutionaries come out of the middle class, they don’t come from the lower strata. They cannot come from there. People are so miserable that they can’t believe that there is anything more. They have never tasted anything of joy. Because they have not tasted anything of joy they cannot conceive of their life as being miserable. They have no comparison.
Unless you know what illness is you will never feel what health is. If you have been ill from your very beginning – if the day you were born you were born ill – and you have never felt that well-being called health, you will not be very miserable with your illness. You will be perfectly satisfied with it. You will know that this is what life is.
That’s why revolution does not arise from the lowest strata.
It does not arise from the highest strata either, because they have much to lose. They cannot be revolutionaries; they have too much at stake. The poor have nothing to lose, but they cannot feel their misery; the rich can feel the misery, but they have too much to lose. Hence all revolutionaries are born from the middle class – those who have known both, a little bit of misery and a little bit of joy. Their perspective is very clear. They know joy is possible, and because they know joy is possible their agony is intolerable.
Berdyaev says: “On great feast days I almost invariably felt anguish, perhaps because I was awaiting some miraculous transformation of ordinary workaday life. But it never came.” Yes, on a feast day one feels more anguish because one hopes more. When you hope more, naturally you will feel more miserable if that hope is not fulfilled.