If I don’t tell you to be happy, you will never reach the peak of pain and anguish. I go on telling you to be happy, and the more I say, “Be happy,” the more you become aware of your unhappiness.
The more you listen to me, the more you will find anguish arising. That is the only way to make you unhappy – to go on constantly forcing on you: be happy! You cannot be, so you feel the unhappiness all around you. Even what you used to think was happiness, even those points disappear and you feel absolutely hopeless. Even momentary happinesses disappear and the desert becomes complete. All hopes and all oases disappear.
But that’s where the jump happens. When you are really unhappy, totally unhappy – not even a ray of hope – suddenly you drop all unhappiness. Why? – why does it happen? It happens because unhappiness is not clinging to you; you are clinging to unhappiness. Once you feel the total anguish of it, you drop it; there is nobody to carry it for you.
But you have never felt it so intensely; you have always been lukewarm. You feel a little unhappiness, but always there is a hope for the future: Tomorrow there is going to be happiness – a little desert, but the oasis is coming closer. Through the hope, you go on. Through the hope, the un-happiness remains.
My whole effort is to kill the hope, to leave you in such total darkness that you cannot allow any dream any longer. Once this intensity reaches to the hundredth degree, you evaporate. Then you cannot carry it anymore, suddenly whatsoever you call it – unhappiness, the ego, ignorance, unawareness, or what have you: anything that you want to call it – drops.
I will tell you one story.
It happened…. A farmer had a pedigree ram. It was a beautiful animal, but sometimes it got mad and the shepherd who looked after the ram was very worried. He always wanted to get rid of it, but the farmer loved it.
One day it became too much, so the shepherd came and said, “Now you choose: either me or the ram. I resign… take my notice or this ram goes. This is a mad animal and continuously creating trouble. He gets so angry and so dangerous that sometimes one feels that he will kill.”
The farmer now had to decide, so he asked his friends what to do. He never wanted the ram to be sold. They suggested an animal psychologist: “Ask….”