You all have the potential of having mind or no-mind. You can have both: when you need to work with the objective reality you can use the mind – it is extrovert; when you are working towards the inner world, and the treasure house of your being, you have to use the no-mind.
The problem arises that you are accustomed to using the mind, because you are accustomed to the outside world. So when you start working for the inner, you still continue functioning with the mind. That is not the area of functioning for the mind.
The mind can only be objective, it can never be subjective. And the moment you try to make it subjective, you will get into tremendous anguish, strange anxieties. The whole of the unconscious mind will start arising in flames within you. It is a great struggle of the mind that it does not want you ever to explore the inner, it wants you to remain engaged with something outside. Then it is perfectly happy.
Turning in simply means a death to the mind.
Turning in means the mind will have to be put aside, with all its knowledge, its problems, its anxieties, its anguishes. Of course, the mind has been in power for four million years, it cannot easily give way, so it creates any kind of disturbances that can prevent you from entering into your own being and finding the buddha.
Anando has written:
I am sorry. I must be the most stubborn and stupid disciple of all time. I am not even sure I can be called a disciple after my behavior.
I feel terrible that I forced you to hit me so hard, but I saw that my layers of pride and my stupid defenses of independence from love were so old and so thick, that I needed something drastic.
I still don’t know what you did, except that boy, did it hurt. Now I understand why the truth is so unpopular.
But in spite of my worst efforts, you, with your love, have managed a miracle again. I feel healed and so grateful.
Thank you sounds so inadequate, but I say from the depth of my being: I wash your feet with my tears of gratitude.
Anando, you have done perfectly well. It was something troublesome in you that you have dropped in this crisis. This crisis was painful – every crisis is – but few crises bring a new approach, a new attitude, a new being in you. And this crisis has brought a new dawn to your life.
People don’t understand at all that they are afraid of love. People think they are very loving, but their unconscious is very afraid of love. Love means merging, and that seems to the mind as if you are losing your independence, your individuality.