Sannyas also happens like that. Then there is beauty, then there is grace, and only then are you a sannyasin. It is not a question of being recruited, it is not some discipline that has to be forced on you, it is not a question of arguing for or against. When it comes from your heart there is no alternative, there is no either/or; it is not philosophy.

Soren Kierkegaard has written one beautiful book; the name of the book is Either/Or. And it is not only the name of the book, his whole life can be called an experiment in either/or. In his whole life he was never decisive – always thinking whether to do it or not to do it.

For years a woman waited for him and he was unable to decide whether to marry her or not to marry her. …Pondered and pondered, consulted encyclopedias, great treatises on marriage and love, took many notes for and against, weighed it this way and that, but could not come to a conclusion. All the arguments came out almost equal. Much could be said for, much could be said against, and it was so equally balanced – how to decide? Tired, the woman married somebody else.

And this was his whole life: about everything he went on pondering and pondering; he never could do anything If death had also been a question to be decided by him he would not have died yet; he would be sitting in Copenhagen and pondering over death. If birth had been a question of a decision on his part he would have never been born; he would have pondered and pondered in the mother’s womb, sitting there – to come out or not?

His approach, this stupid approach toward life, became so famous that when he used to pass down the streets – only once a month; he had to go to the bank to draw some money… His father, seeing his son and his inability to decide about everything, had deposited some money in his name because it was absolutely certain he would not be able to do anything in his life. A good offer had come for a professorship. He pondered so long that the university decided to appoint somebody else. So he lived in a very poor way, because the money in the bank was limited – that was his only money, and he had to live his whole life on that money.

Once every month, the first day of the month, he would go to the bank to withdraw a small sum of money and come back home. Even going to the bank he would ponder whether to go this way or that. He would stand at the crossroads for hours – and not just once, it was an every-month affair, and every month he had to decide again and again. His approach became so famous that urchins used to follow him from his house to the bank and from the bank to the house, calling behind him, “Either/Or, Either/Or, Either/Or!” Copenhagen knew him not by his name, Soren Kierkegaard, his name became Either/Or.

Wait. Next time when you come – if I am still here… Up to then, wait. And there is no better time than the present when you want to postpone a thing. And who knows? We may not be made for each other. I am not saying you are not made for me, that I cannot say, but I may not be made for you; that much I can say. I may not deserve you. So leave it aside – the very question has to be put aside.