In India there are many stories of great rishis, great seers. I don’t see why they have been called great seers, because they seem almost blind. The stories are that whenever those great seers were deep in their austerities, in their fasts, in their sadhana, beautiful women from the other world will come; apsaras, heavenly damsels will come and try to seduce them.
It seems almost impossible. Why should it happen? Why is the other world so interested in seducing poor seers? And who is managing this whole nonsense? They are doing austerities to get out of the world, to stop the wheel of samsar; they are passing through the nightmare of nirvana, they are trying to become desireless – why are they being punished? Why do beautiful women come to them and try to seduce them?
But still, the stories are logical. Nobody is sending those beautiful women. There is nobody to send them. There are no beautiful women to be sent. They are fighting upstream.
The more you fight with sex, the more your fantasy becomes real. The more you avoid sex, the more you fight with it, the more you go against it – the more your own dreaming creates damsels of the other world around you. It is your own upstream effort.
I’m not saying that transcendence of sex is not possible. It is possible, but it is possible – almost always it is possible – but it is possible only if you flow with the stream, never against the stream. If you are not fighting with the stream, things will happen that you always wanted to happen, but because you wanted, they were not happening.
There is a proverb that “Man proposes and God disposes.” But why should God be so against man? Why should he be so cruel? There is no God to dispose anything, and if there is, he cannot be so cruel as to dispose your poor desires. You don’t ask much. You ask almost nothing, trivia. Why should he dispose? He can’t be so miserly.
But the real thing is: the moment you propose, in your very proposal you have created the disposal. You are fighting against the stream. Now you are moving upstream, and you will feel as if the river is moving against you.
Start floating with the river, and suddenly you will see the river is taking you to the ocean. And it is not against; it is very friendly, it is very lovely. No need to swim even, no need to make any effort – effortlessly just float and the river takes you. Don’t waste your energy.
The question is: “Every time I think I want to do something, the complete opposite happens.” It will happen. It is your doing. Please stop proposing. Rather, allow happenings to happen. Move with things. Don’t bring your will and your ego. The whole is vast and you are a tiny part. Accept this. Dissolve in the whole, merge yourself in the whole. Don’t try to create an illusion that you are separate. You are not. Once this illusion is dropped…